fairyring2004's Blog

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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GONE - emotionally gone never to return

14 July 2007

Posted by ~Samantha~

I am gone. Emotionally I am gone. Maybe physically I stand and look at you. But I am done. I can't be saved and I should have known that years ago. I am considered a fucken piece of trash and that is what I am. I was gone for so long but now today I know that I will never be alive. Why try????????????

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Wondering

21 June 2007

Posted by ~Samantha~

Wodering what has happened to my life. What has seemed to show up crazy in my life. The thing that amazes me is all the triggers that have happened today. I have acted perfectly normal even though these triggers bug me I am acting like there is nothing wrong. I guess I am good at that oh well I guess it is time to get my life together

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I guess I should learn to be silent

20 June 2007

Posted by ~Samantha~

may

not really sure
I guess after so much crap and so much shit I just want to open up and not have to be silent anymore. But in this wierd way I know if I don't stay silent something will happen to me. I don't know if this is a good thing, bad thing or me and my brain going a hundred miles an hour again (which happens just a...

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Crying

19 June 2007

Posted by ~Samantha~

I try to be strong but I am not. I know that I am much less than strong but I am trying.....So why must he continue to bug me. Why must he still contact me like he did nothing wrong? Why must he make me hurt? Wasn't hurting me the first time enough? Why does he have to make me scared shitless on top of it. Why :trigger:

why

...

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Trying to comprehend how to get out

15 June 2007

Posted by ~Samantha~

I am trying to understand.....I can continue to hurt and I can continue to blame myself but I can only handle so far a little part of my life. I hurt soo much that I don't think I have felt this since the time that my mother told me, "All you are is a piece of shit that I stepped on during my life time." It is scary to think that I...

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ok wat is the point

13 June 2007

Posted by ~Samantha~

I am hurting and I know it. I know I can not talk to my mom about the assault because I would be called a lier and when I returned to the states I would get hit if not worse she would make it so I could not go to college for the next few years. Along with it my step dad is just an idiot and would tell my mom, while my grandmother believes that...

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Lost and overwhelmed

12 June 2007

Posted by ~Samantha~

Well I guess in some way I have to come to terms with everything.....being sent down to Mexico did not help this factor though.....It was only two weeks after the event but wat would have happened if I told my mom???? The same thing that my mom told me about B and the happening in 4th grade (which thanks to remembering was a lot less at the time...

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