I feel so alone, unwanted, and like the piece of garbage people have always said that I am. I know that it is something that people say oh it is fine and it is ok that I am feeling this, but it is not. I am hurt because of words that were said, but the only reason that it hurts because maybe it is true. If first years who have only known me for 6 months can say that than is it true. Sometimes I feel that I need to just go away and start working. Why do people not realize how much their words actually hurt, and than how real it feels in my life. Can this stop. Of course not why would it.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I just want to scream, I just want to cry and yet I can do neither because it is not considered right. i know that this is an insecurity but when it is said, it no longer feels like it may be a lie in my head but it feels real. I wish that I could say something that was said two days ago did not hurt so bad, but all I really want to do is curl up and go to sleep.
Oh well, I guess in the end it doesn't really matter. As it is it is an insecurity and I need to get over it.