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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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Lost and Done

13 November 2012
Posted by ~Samantha~  
I know that I don't normally put anything here, but I am in the mood to start journaling again, maybe it will help to express things. This is not really everything or explains everything it is just a bunch of feelings and things going on exploding into a writing so I can go back to my essay.

November 13, 2012
I so badly want to try and get...
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Can this Feeling go AWAY

13 February 2012
Posted by ~Samantha~  
I feel so alone, unwanted, and like the piece of garbage people have always said that I am. I know that it is something that people say oh it is fine and it is ok that I am feeling this, but it is not. I am hurt because of words that were said, but the only reason that it hurts because maybe it is true. If first years who have only known me for...
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IT'S NOT MY FAULT

14 May 2008
Posted by ~Samantha~  
Well here is this I just have spent sometime writing this and it was incredibly amazing at how I did. Maybe going to add to my post on my story.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
No matter how much people sit around and tell me that this horrible act...
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I hate fucken home

11 May 2008
Posted by ~Samantha~  
What is this bull shit. I am home for less than twenty four hours and I have gotten to the point of depression. I still have the ability to control myself in these situations but what the hell is this bull shit. I have never hated a boyfriend of hers as much as this one, except the one who sexually abused me. He is driving me nuts and he...
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Learning

20 July 2007
Posted by ~Samantha~  
I am finally learning about my life. Yes I am still numb. Yes I still hurt. And hell yes the events are never going to always be with me. But I think I am finally learning that I can not control everything and somethings are so far out that I can't do anything about it.
I blamed myself for the past two and a half months since the event...
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Should I

19 July 2007
Posted by ~Samantha~  
I am feeling some guilt about not telling my mom and in the end about not telling my family for the sexual assault. I am not sure whether I should or not. I mean that I know she hurt me for 17 and 1/2 years with physical, and especially verbal abuse. But am I inconsiderate for not telling my mom about this???????
Should I tell her??????
Will...
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I wonder about myself

18 July 2007
Posted by ~Samantha~  
I sometimes wonder how crazy I really am. I notice that I am fully crazy but yet seem so normal.
I can not seem to take control of my life though I wish I could.
I try to take control in so many ways including si, ed and along with it trying to pack my schedule to hell amounts. Everyone thinks I am crazy for trying to take 17 credits worth of...
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Fucked up

17 July 2007
Posted by ~Samantha~  
My life is so fucked up and I know it. My life is pretty much done for and nothing will keep it from fucking up even more. Life just seems to bite me in the ass all the time but hopefully I will finally be able to be happy. I hope that I will finally be able to turn the corner and be able to smile. I wish there was a lot more to my life but...
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Posted by ~Samantha~  
More and more my life makes no sense and it is because I am playing a character I am not. The real me is hidden underneath a costume of someone that I must pretend to me.

sorry this is really quick but time to go to bed b/f I get into trouble. So off to bed without any sleep again.

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Posted by ~Samantha~  
Why the hell does my life seem to go against me everytime I turn around. Wasn't it bad enoguh that I feel so dead and gone but to add to it I can not sleep a single bit. Now gracious life wasn't that enough. No of course not it wasn't bad enough putting me through hell last year with two room mates who both drank and hated me. It...
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