New Diagnosis of PTSD
She has, again, encouraged me to write, and if possible, to write about my experiences, which is why I am back here. My assignment this week is to write something about how I see myself. This is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated. Of course I want to be brutally honest, so that we can address these things, but, I still have the insecurity nagging at me. Its also hard to put into words exactly how I see myself. I definitely feel like I am not very attractive, too heavy, not beautiful/ etc... but in a very specific way. Its beyond feeling unattractive, its almost like I feel like I'm too masculine, or if I'm not too masculine, I'm too weak. Sorry for the babbling. I'm still struggling to figure this one out. Some of the descriptors I've come up with are "too big," "Scared of confrontation," "compassionate," "Intelligent," "ugly," "timid," and "Idealistic". Any way, I'm just sort of rambling. This wasn't meant to go anywhere specific, I'm just trying to compartmentalize some of these new discoveries. Thanks for being an ear!