Beginning of D
The January I met D I was recovering from a very traumatic car accident that was with an ex boyfriend and a drunken friend. We were on our way to Tim Hortons for coffee during a intermission of our friends play she was in. He driving too fast on the icy road (my ex had a heavy foot on the gas) and our car lost control. We went through a hydro pole, breaking it in half and knocking out the blocks power, then went through a glass bus shelter and continued to roll three times before coming to a jarring stop. Or, so I'm told. All I can recall is the car jerking, seeing the telephone pole and feeling a terrifying sharp feeling within the depths of my body and mind. I was told none of us should have survived the accident, let alone walked out of it without anything broken. The car didn't look like a car, it was a mass of metal and smoke. It knocked out three months of memory, and for the three months after any memory I could actually hold onto was like that of a dream, very shaky and unclear. Brain damage did not treat me well, and two years later I am still recovering from it. I would have migraines that would leave me blind and paralyzed for hours and then knock out 24 hours of memory from my mind.
Sometime after the accident I met D. I somewhat remember sitting next to him and him bawling beside me telling me about how his older brother was beat to death in front of him, and today was the anniversary. He was so broken, so small and no one cared. I wanted to love this boy, and show him he was worth loving and that he could overcome the adversity in his life.
Within the blank spaces in my mind, he wound me in, and I was a willing contestant. So full of love (which I still am) I wanted to show him what real love could look like, and that he could let go of his pain and embrace love.
I wish I could continue writing this, but it is too difficult, it hurts too much.
Until next time xo