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Journey to the Dbik Giizis



Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 31 July 2014 · 98 views

I saw D (my R) again. He was roughly three blocks from my house. My heart raced as I tried to maneuver the car around the corner on which he stood. My heart raced and my vision blurred. The third time in one month. And so close to my home, again. He is a drug dealer so he could be doing business but my anxiety climbs through the roof when I think of the f...



Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 22 July 2014 · 148 views

I am broken, but my looking at me you can't tell. I'm not constantly wiping salty tears from my eyes, nor do I wear a frown like a thorn crown. No, I smile and I laugh. I am passionate and considerate. I will hug you and love you with all my heart and I will never stop caring. I am idealistic and full of thought. I find delight in daisies and clouds. The...


Things I was told *Trigger Warning*

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 22 July 2014 · 117 views

B: Age 13-16
I can't help myself, you're too tempting.
You should dress more modestly.
You're my biggest temptation.
Well maybe if you didn't... (insert clothing item/behaviour here)... I wouldn't touch you.
You shouldn't come to my house anymore if you don't want it (note: I was very close with his sister)
Friends about B:
If you didn't want it, you can...


Beginning of D

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 22 July 2014 · 76 views

The hard part about my abuses is that as soon as B stopped touching me and forcing me to pleasure him, I met D. 
The January I met D I was recovering from a very traumatic car accident that was with an ex boyfriend and a drunken friend. We were on our way to Tim Hortons for coffee during a intermission of our friends play she was in. He driving too f...



Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 20 July 2014 · 118 views

I've finally caved, and I've started counselling. I thought before that getting counselling would mean I would have to tell my parents, but after 2 years of suppression (from the rape) and 5 years of suppression (from the three year bought of sexual assault) I decided maybe it was time.
I am finding it really really tough to open up to my counselor. I can...



Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 20 July 2014 · 65 views

Twice, in a very short time. Even just typing this makes my throat feel as though it's closing over, my stomach shrink into its pit of fear and disgust. The first time in months, almost a year.
Eight days ago was the first time I saw my rapist in a long time. I was dancing with my darling fiance, Buzgim. Listening to a terrible cover of "I Am The Walrus"...


Introductions *Potential trigger warning**

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 16 July 2014 · 132 views

The first time B touched me, his electric and greedy fingers left scars on my skin that stung and I thought it was love. Well, perhaps not quite love but, maybe it was close. Although his touch was unwelcome and it made my skin crawl and my heart sink I thought "this is what love is." I stood, my body young and curvy, far before my friends, missing my old...

July 2014


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