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Journey to the Dbik Giizis



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Virginity *Trigger Warning*

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 22 September 2014 · 60 views

When D raped me, I was still a virgin. I had never even seen a penis before. Sure, B's hard hands had brought mine to his plenty of times over the years to pleasure him, but I had never looked. When D tried showing me time and time again, I closed my eyes and covered them with my hands, like a child afraid to look at a bug or a scary movie. I begged him t...


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Shouldn't have *TW*

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 11 September 2014 · 70 views

I'm not... normal. I was verbally and emotionally and probably mentally abused by my step-dad. Who was the one who taught me how to read, and tie my shoes, and ride a bike and drive a car and hit a baseball and throw a football. He is my daddy, and I love him so much. But in talking to my roommate and hearing my voice tell the story of my  past I rea...


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Give me death *TW*

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 03 September 2014 · 57 views

Hello? Is there anyone out there? If there is, I would love a little bit of life to hang on to. Maybe some love, to pass around. I am in need of some hope.
Oh God, I wish D would have just killed me after he R me. He forced me to love him and then he laughed as though he hadn't just held me down and made me take him. He took my dignity, he took my innocen...


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Poetry

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 02 September 2014 · 44 views

Being poetic is beautiful to me. I love watching life through a lens of poetry. I love staring at the sky and watching the stars dance along their path and the moon travel from wakefulness and back to sleep. I watch my coffee in it's French Press and I love how poetic it all is. I like to feel the energy and emotions of people and my heart breaks for the...


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Truth

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 31 August 2014 · 45 views

It's kind of hard to get over it when the crime scene is your own body.
    - me, you, us. 


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Appearances

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 31 July 2014 · 54 views

I saw D (my R) again. He was roughly three blocks from my house. My heart raced as I tried to maneuver the car around the corner on which he stood. My heart raced and my vision blurred. The third time in one month. And so close to my home, again. He is a drug dealer so he could be doing business but my anxiety climbs through the roof when I think of the f...


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Broken

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 22 July 2014 · 69 views

I am broken, but my looking at me you can't tell. I'm not constantly wiping salty tears from my eyes, nor do I wear a frown like a thorn crown. No, I smile and I laugh. I am passionate and considerate. I will hug you and love you with all my heart and I will never stop caring. I am idealistic and full of thought. I find delight in daisies and clouds. The...


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Things I was told *Trigger Warning*

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 22 July 2014 · 51 views

B: Age 13-16
I can't help myself, you're too tempting.
You should dress more modestly.
You're my biggest temptation.
Well maybe if you didn't... (insert clothing item/behaviour here)... I wouldn't touch you.
You shouldn't come to my house anymore if you don't want it (note: I was very close with his sister)
Friends about B:
If you didn't want it, you can...


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Beginning of D

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 22 July 2014 · 36 views

The hard part about my abuses is that as soon as B stopped touching me and forcing me to pleasure him, I met D. 
The January I met D I was recovering from a very traumatic car accident that was with an ex boyfriend and a drunken friend. We were on our way to Tim Hortons for coffee during a intermission of our friends play she was in. He driving too f...


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Counselling

Posted by DbikGiizisKwe , 20 July 2014 · 56 views

I've finally caved, and I've started counselling. I thought before that getting counselling would mean I would have to tell my parents, but after 2 years of suppression (from the rape) and 5 years of suppression (from the three year bought of sexual assault) I decided maybe it was time.
I am finding it really really tough to open up to my counselor. I can...






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