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Posted by 2journeys , 24 June 2014 · 35 views

I really, really, want to confront my mother about her lack of support and the abandonment she filled me with when I was younger. I want to tell her that because of what she failed to do as a mother, to protect me, be my champion, impacted every single decision I have made. I want to scream in her face about how I grew up knowing she didn't love me. How I know she loathed the very sight of me and that I didn't warrant any affection or concern in her eyes. That I know she has no inherent human qualities.
But.....I'm a coward. I don't do it and I know I'll never do it. I know I'll never be able to express how she has damaged me to a point that feels I'll never be repaired. 
Why can't I just tell her? What is it that she continues to have on me, what hold, that can make me be intimidated and feel 5 all over again? She makes me feel so small inside no matter what age I am....
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