If I start will it end?
His ex wife contacted me after she saw a anti r*pe post I had put up. She asked me if it had to do with him. I didn't reveal any information to her about anything that had happened. I was in shock when she told me about what he had done to her. It was the same in every way. The sleeping pills, the waking up, the excuses when he was confronted. It seems he has a habit of this. How many others has there been? There are signs that his 20 year old daughter is remembering of him getting too close to her also. He would play with my pregnant daughters hair and she would leave the room because she felt uncomfortable. He sees fear as respect. I have no respect for him. Does that mean that I shouldn't fear him? I fear what he is capable of while I'm asleep. Awake I see him as a coward. Yet when he is going to drop his son off at the house I get nervous. He's the one that should feel the way I do.
If I turn him into the police would it help at all? Would I be able to save someone else from him? I couldn't live with myself if I were to find out about another after me. He does need to be stopped. Would I have the strength to do it?
I don't even know exactly what happened to me because of the sleeping pill. I know for a fact that something did happen. He looked me in my face and told me he r*ped me. Said he couldn't control himself, he should have stopped, he went too far. Why would I still talk to him after that? My father was in the hospital and passed away 2 months afterward. I'm a total mess and don't know where to turn. I really just want my Dad to hug me one more time and tell me he will help me through this like he always did.
For now I guess I will just wait on an answer. For a sign. For hope. For help. For love. For that hug.