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OakingRiverTam's Blog



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I'm giving too much of my energy over...

Posted by OakingRiverTam , 20 October 2014 · 77 views

I am insane. 
 
I just spent (I counted) 3 hours today, trying to figure out where his sister got married yesterday, from pictures on Facebook and Instagram.
 
What. Am. I. Doing?!  
 
I don't even know why I'm doing this. I mean, what am I gonna say? "Aha! That's where you were!" The end, basically? 
 
I resent you beca...


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Was so sure about reporting before, but now...

Posted by OakingRiverTam , 18 October 2014 · 103 views

I really wanted to report. I have support. I've been having support. But now I see that people will take your statements over and over and then that's it for the most part and nothing else happens? He gets off scott-free and you still live the life you've been living? What is that?
 
I don't know what to do now? I want to report him but will anything...


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I want to tell everyone... Confronting Anniversay

Posted by OakingRiverTam , 16 October 2014 · 106 views

In two days, it will be a year since I confronted you in that restaurant. 
 
I want to tell everyone. I want to tell your high school friends and your sister. 
 
"I didn't know," you said.
 
"I thought it was normal." (RE: me trying to fight him off) 
 
But I have to worry about libel or slander or whatever, right? ...


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I, somehow, actually like him.

Posted by OakingRiverTam , 18 April 2014 · 119 views

I am an insane person. It should not be, but somehow it is. Good God! Has no one else gone through this?

How do I make this go away?! :0 :\ This is impossible. It was guaranteed to be impossible. How did this happen? Why is it happening?

You hurt me.


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He is doing good things in the community... I still want my apology! (Censored for reasons)

Posted by OakingRiverTam , 14 April 2014 · 120 views

He is feeding the homeless and volunteering at a soup kitchen. We have had contact and we ran into each other in the same restaurant last week. I confronted him. I want my apology. If you feel sorry, **cking apologize or show just how me much of a **ck you are and blame me like the most recent bf that raped me did. But I want it. I want it now! Unless you...


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Am I A Survivor?

Posted by OakingRiverTam , 30 March 2014 · 113 views

I agree with the term, but not when I think of myself. They were not violent, a little coercive with some slight force. I don't feel like I am a survivor of anything really. Not that those experiences weren't rape and not that others are not survivors of rape, but I just don't feel that term properly labels me. :\


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Feeling Crazy...

Posted by OakingRiverTam , 28 March 2014 · 92 views

I am rocking back and forth on my bed. I'm excited but I feel guilty for it. He and I are friends online and I like it. My T from POV is helping deal with the aftermath. I should not want to keep in contact with him, but I do. I like it when he likes or comments on my stuff. I hate that I like things he likes. Why?! What do I want?

I confronted him. I t...





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