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Datweet's Blog - "My Journey"


When I protect myself in a traumatic situation

Posted by datweet , 04 May 2014 · 186 views

I call it my "protective mode".
It's an automatic reaction that stems from my sexual violence history.
When I have an experience that the innermost parts of me recognizes as traumatic,
My mind, emotions, and spirit fight to protect me.
Just as they've always done from when I was a child.
They have become conditioned to protect me.

Each time, however, I'v...


Nightmarish feelings

Posted by datweet , in My battles 04 May 2014 · 146 views

*trigger warning - some flashback details

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and am hit with flashbacks.

I wake up to a new day and find myself looking through the eyes of a child.
At times, I feel the striking blows of being thrown up against the wall, forcibly and painfully abused.
Other times, I feel their fingers running over me, their breath on me...


It's not your fault

Posted by datweet , in My battles 04 May 2014 · 105 views

I have difficulty when people tell me:

"It's not your fault"
"Don't blame yourself"
"You have nothing to be ashamed about"
"It has nothing to do with you"
"You didn't bring this upon yourself"

When I'm told this, I don't believe them. I can't see how it's not my fault. My automatic reaction to a traumatic experience is immediately assuming responsibilit...

May 2014


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