Jump to content


You do the best you can in the moment

Posted by datweet , 26 March 2014 · 54 views

I was just thinking: 

At times, I try to prevent self-blame for my past trauma with these words:


"You did the best you could in the moment. 

You can't blame yourself for making decisions

towards something you couldn't fully understand.

You did the best you could in the moment."


I truly believe we do.

I agree so much on this.  It's hard to remember when the shame kicks in- but I know that it's true.  

I'm kinda stuck inbetween agreeing and disagreeing because I feel that I couldn't have done anything about what happened but then I wonder if I would have tried harder maybe someone would have saved me...

@nebulas - yes, the shame does kick in quite a bit.  With what little strength i have in the moment, i try to kick it right back. :)


@JNA_True - i know what you mean.  I have "if only's" too. Too much of them.  If only I'd said something, if only my parents saw or knew, if only i fought harder, etc.  When i was being sexually abused and raped as a child, i didn't know what was going on, but I know the traumatic experience had put me in a terrifying position/place.  So, it comforts me and my inner child to know the truth....that we did our best in the best manner we could.  I hope you'll find something that comforts you too.

that's so true i agree with you

Thanks ranesha.  i truly believe it.....we do our best.

October 2014

19 20 2122232425

Recent Comments

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.