time is all we ever have.
It has been a long time since I have seen you here.
I'm not even sure why I am seeing you or if it is even okay.
You are supposed to be a distant memory and I am supposed to have forgotten you years ago.
You were supposed to be a piece to my puzzle that I laid among the rest, lying there silently and forgotten; but gleaming in the beauty of the larger picture.
You were supposed to never happen.
I see your face and still fall endlessly in your soft and persuading voice; feeling happily lost in your essence.
God, it is so great to see you my love.
I am not sure if I am supposed to be feeling happy, I' m not supposed to know anything of your existence now a days.
My mind is not even supposed to wonder to yours between these hundreds of miles.
My mind keeps my heart in the line of what is "right" by ignoring your existence and erasing your memory with thoughts of "cheating."
You were just never supposed to get this serious.
You would think after all of this time something would change.
My heart would blacken and yours would continue to search for the power of fidelity.
I have mentally placed you in such a small and ordinary place within my heart, however; you are so much bigger than that.
You just seem to not ever go away.
You have been my Achilles heel on forgiveness and the pain to remind me that I am still human.
The pain beneath the chilly winds of an ice ridden heart swarming a vulnerable heart.
Your selfishness is what keeps my vulnerable heart stable and on the ground.
Balance is too often unreachable.
The inability for my mind and heart to reason still amazes me.
The power you have to still make my body a war zone.
The inability to settle, to feel tranquil, to breathe..
My heart feeling you with a mind shutting you down and out.
A mind dancing in your beauty and a heart crashing with fears of becoming like you.
You step into my dreams and exit as quickly as you entered,
leaving the same confusing feelings as you do in reality.
I love you in my mind and fear you in my heart.
God, it is so good to see you.
Stay close my love,
I just need more time.