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Writing Letters due to insecurities

Posted by HealingMe , 13 April 2014 · 48 views

Because I feel very little at the moment when I interact with people I think some mistake what I am attempting to say or I express it the wrong way, I mean well I know what it is I want to say it just comes out the wrong way...
 
I had to write a letter to my wife today, to let her know how I am and what I am going through, like she seems to get fed...


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Shutdown and Anxiety

Posted by HealingMe , in Not So Good Days 01 April 2014 · 51 views

When we shutdown, does anyone notice things just rambling away in the back of there mind when they are trying to relax?, for me it's like slight thought, feeling all jumbling away, trying to sort itself out, does anyone else notice this when we can't take anymore in the day and we are starting to get tired. Thoughts pulling about with slight emotion thing...


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Can't get Visual Images

Posted by HealingMe , in Not So Good Days 23 March 2014 · 47 views

Do some of you guy's have issues with getting images, I mean when you want to visualize something nice you try and think about it and nothing happens, just get a clearing blank image, you know it's nearly there but just can't see it.... How many others get this, like visuals do not work sometimes, I mean you draw a complete blank attempting to see things....


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Perfection and Punishment

Posted by HealingMe , in Not So Good Days 18 March 2014 · 51 views

my healing journey is long, same as yours, I have stuff to process, my child got to a stage today of thinking that when even the smallest things go wrong it's my/his fault, I must have been scared of being punished for stuff, even if I say one wrong word, or forget something, it's like everything had to be perfect, but perfection is something that is now...


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Travelling to see Councillor

Posted by HealingMe , in Not So Good Days 12 March 2014 · 51 views

I had to go by tube today to see my Councillor/Therapist right into London, had a really angry day, I bullied myself as everywhere I looked I could see triggers that angered me like I am saying to myself what do I 'F#*king' think then, part of me does not understand the healing process still and it's this part that is a bit angry as my life has been throw...


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Beating on my old Furnature

Posted by HealingMe , 06 March 2014 · 64 views

Think I hurt myself today, I read Stronger98 story about herself, Triggered Me, she is young and she added me as a friend, I had friends like I have now but I had little feelings for them as I was hiding my feelings so I found it hard to attach my caring feelings as I must of thought I was going to be rejected or have to fight or something or that they we...


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Makes No Sense

Posted by HealingMe , in Poems 05 March 2014 · 37 views

One I learned
 
One fine day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up to fight,
back to back they faced each other
drew their swords and shot one another
 
 
makes no sense, just like abuse


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Sorrow

Posted by HealingMe , in Poems 05 March 2014 · 40 views

The people who did this stuff to me,
The people who did this just could not see.
They made me sordid and shy, 
They made me feel like I was going to die.
 
They stole part of me away,
I await patiently that part of me to return one day,
So I can feel safe and complete,
feel satisfied and sweet.
 
If that day were only tomorrow,
I would not...


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Conversation with part of My Inner Child

Posted by HealingMe , in Good Days 05 March 2014 · 47 views

part of my Inner child thinks he's been naughty, as he's been told off and punished for so many things, so I say how can that be? they put it all upon me, so how can that be, my inner child has no answers to that just that's how it was for me. Oh inner child, my dear inner being my fun was taken away from me but it does not mean it was my fault. I was mad...


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Abusers Feelings

Posted by HealingMe , 04 March 2014 · 58 views

Does anyone, ever come across within their own feelings, feelings like the abuser is still around them? even though they are miles away or even dead and buried, had a episode this morning where, I comforted myself, then digressed back to my childhood TV programs, then this afternoon while looking for our lost cat, bumped into a feeling that felt just like...






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