Welcome to my horror
At the age of six I was raped by three men; all of whom were family members. I ran away from home at the age of twenty-seven (moved from Wisconsin to Texas) and have divorced myself from my VERY dysfunctional family, but I do have my husband and AA to talk to. However, I'm sure my husband would like a break from it all, especially since he has lived through six months of nightmares as I relived each rape, and months of ranting and raving about my family. At AA I still haven't trusted anyone enough yet to open up and let them in; it's that abandonment issue we get from being betrayed by the people we love and admire.
Sometime it feels like no one understands, and it would be nice to have someone to share my thoughts and fears with; who is detached from my life so I can get a unbiased perspective of the issues.
I have been to therapy for the past three years and have been able to reach down deep inside me and pull out those memories and fears, the anger and the disappointments. Some nights I lay in bed tossing and turning trying to get the thoughts from my head so I can sleep, but morning comes too soon and I spend the next day depressed and weepy.
I am looking forward to reading what others have taken the time to write, what others have experienced, and what others have done to cope with life on life's terms.
Good night for now, and may God bless and keep you safe.