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Disclosing to an old friend and the release of tears

Posted by Mand , 22 June 2014 · 123 views

Last night there was an impromptu gathering in my back garden. One of the people there was my best friend of 14 years. Our daughters grew up together- there is only three weeks between them. Over the last two years I have pushed this friend away. I don't have many close friends, and I couldn't cope with allowing myself the comfort of her. She is 13yrs older than me. Seeing her, being with her became incredibly painful.

Taking courage from Intrepid, I disclosed my past to her. She held me as I sobbed. I have healed the rift. She is sorry for what happened. She doesn't hate me.

It is hard. I'm finding writing hard. I just wanted to share this with you all. Telling others, being honest, has brought the much needed release of grief. I am exhausted but more settled internally.

Edited to add. This is reading as very flat and emotionless. Sorry. It's like after the intense emotion, my protector has shut me down so I don't become overwhelmed.

You cried! And you trusted someone! Your T is away and you have been brave and put your needs forward and sought comfort. This is really amazing - so pleased!

This is reading as very flat and emotionless.



You think so? It made me cry.

Bless you candu. I think I am so flat after the emotional storm that even watership down wouldn't make me feel emotion today!

wow. amazing Mand. I don't see this as flat at all either, btw. 

Bless you too. Isn't perspective funny. I'm still 'numb'. Still don't see it.

Thank you for post this mand

You're welcome Tina.
Jun 23 2014 07:51 PM

I also didn't experience this as flat. It felt authentic, and emotionally real. I felt it too!


Mand, I'm so glad you did this and got the response you needed. She is a good friend. You need and deserve such a friend.

Mand this strikes me as succinct and powerful writing. Emotions under control.


Very communicative!!!

Congratulations on being inspired, taking the risk, and getting your friendship back in a completely new way.

Emotions back and 'normal' thank goodness! Today was the kick up the bum I needed. Thank you Jiva and Intrepid. Yes, I begin to see the strength, courage and power. Who knew.....
((((Mand)))) you are so brave and strong. This was such a brave thing to do. I imagine that you are still processing the conversation that you had and the emotions it built in you. Take gentle care of yourself. Sarrettaa
Thanks Sarr. I haven't seen her since. I think I have shut off again. Mainly cos my T is on holiday. So my wall is firmly cemented in place. I am living my life ignoring 'that' bit. T being away is actually easier than I though this time. I guess the difference being that unlike last time, I know when she's back.

How are you? I've been worried about you.


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