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Finally brave enough to visit my house of Mand's

Posted by Mand , 23 March 2014 · 164 views

It's been a while since I have had the courage to look at how my integration of my dissociated Mand's is going. The Silent One and Manderoo are in the garden. The Silent One is giggling. This is the first time I have heard her. Manderoo is content to have a friend. I still believe these two will become one soon. As I accept what The Silent One endured.

Maternal Mand and The Bad Parent are sat together at the kitchen table. They are talking and the Bad Parent is not angry at the moment. This is a first for me. Most unusual. Wicked Mand...... She is still there. She is peaking out from behind a door. Hiding. But planning mischief. I will have to be aware of her over the coming days. I have a feeling she might be planning another assault, another test for my T. And that would be unfair. The I that is ME must not let her. My T has proved her worth and safety time and time again. She does not need testing any more. I am glad I checked in- I need to contemplate why wicked Mand would want to still behave like this with her.

The inner bitch - the stroppy teen. They are listening to loud music in the bedroom they now share. They are being nonchalant - but they are very aware about what is happening. The inner bitch got out sometime. She is smirking. I have bruises and cuts that I can't remember doing. I accept that she got out and I am trying to not be cross with her. I am a bit disappointed in ME for not stopping her, but I accept I have been through a lot since last Thursday, and I guess it is inevitable that at this early stage - some of my Mand's will be wily enough to escape MY control.


So actually , it is quite a peaceful scene. And that is good.



(((Mand)))  if you'd like. 

 

You've been processing a lot. I think a check in is a good step to ensuring that you are taking care. 

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intrepidshe
Mar 23 2014 06:21 PM

Mand, this does sound like a peaceful day at home with a wonderful family. I'm glad you're trying not to be cross with inner bitch and recognize she is learning. Also, I see you're trying not to be cross with the center Mand (is that the right way to refer to the I, the ME)? You're doing amazingly well!

Thanks guys. Yes Intrepid, my T has said that acceptance of my past, who I was, and who I am now is central to my healing. So I must be kind to myself. Giving myself a break from thinking today !!!!
:hug:

This is absolutely incredible. I have never read anything like it. there is deep truth here _ and not an everyday truth either> might be a while before you can visit again which is absolutely fine

 

(visit the house of mands I meant, computer was doing funny things with punctuation so I cut the post short)

Glad to hear you sounding so positive and more understanding of your disparate parts. :hug:

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yarnfoolishness
Mar 24 2014 11:37 AM

Keep being kind to you, all of you.  I'm so tickled about Manderoo and the Silent One keeping each other company.  :hug: if OK.

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