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Full of anger :(

Posted by EmilyRW96 , 19 February 2014 · 105 views

I think I'm going through a stage. A very very angry stage. I see him around and everything flows back. I feel sick just knowing that he got away with what he did to me me. I have to live it every day! It's like something creeps up in my mind letting me know to not forget what happened. I look at babies and my heart aches knowing that my angels can't be with me so I can love them and give them anything they want and more! Every night if all comes back to me and reminds me. Why in the night? Maybe because I'm not occupied doing things. I take my anger out on everyone because people tell me to move on wnd forget. I can't forget!! I feel suicidal sometimes because I feel that that is my only escape from these memories. He is living his life like he hasn't ruined mine. I was a positive and strong person once. I now hate life and wonder why I let him do it to me for so long. Why didn't I speak up? Why can't I forget!!!??



I totally sympathise, it does make you sick that they are carrying on having holidays relationships, etc and we are trapped by our fear.  I know that while I am afraid to go out of my front door and anxious a lot of the time, he is strolling around blackening my name and playing the victim.

This is a big reason I am seeking counselling now, for 25 yrs I have missed out on life and its time to reclaim it.  It is not fair, never will be, but we are good people who bad things happened to.  I hope you find the strength to keep going and know you can get through this.  Wish I could do more, but am sending positive thoughts and vibes xxx

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