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Survivorship



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This Is Cool

Posted by Linnaeus , 20 December 2014 · 36 views

How To Do A Close Reading
 
I find I have natural ability in making conclusions and comparing things and some people saw me as extremely gifted which I have to laugh about but if that is so then I also noted being told "you're to smart for your own good" but if that's true and things are bad and I note the why and how - obviously there's a few things...


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"This Man"

Posted by Linnaeus , 19 December 2014 · 19 views

If you have ever heard of the term "terminally unique" I find it interesting that for many years (and especially more recently) that efforts have been seen which undermine me. I am unique. Terminally however? I read about religious bigots with their terminal wishes for others - "go to hell", you're going there! all that other hoopla. Worse yet, "I'm saved...


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Rile Me Blue

Posted by Linnaeus , 19 December 2014 · 21 views

Having a hard time believing that (while helping start a small business many years ago) that I met someone who ended up being smeared on the web and various other places. So it was long ago loathing of this person occurred in my home (before ever meeting him). Odd are the events, a sex abuse issue impacting my daughter with a prior allegation concerning a...


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Rile Me Blue

Posted by Linnaeus , 19 December 2014 · 12 views

Having a hard time believing that (while helping start a small business many years ago) that I met someone who ended up being smeared on the web and various other places. So it was long ago loathing of this person occurred in my home (before ever meeting him). Odd are the events, a sex abuse issue impacting my daughter with a prior allegation concerning a...


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Addiction

Posted by Linnaeus , 17 December 2014 · 41 views

Trigger warning
 
I liked a lesson as a child at church, drug awareness while elsewhere drugs came into church. I got my first experience there with both sex and drugs while later on (totally scared of needles) an advertisement spread with a crucifix - but a needle with Christ on it. It stuck, then later in life on came a person pushing ideas, needle...


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An Idea

Posted by Linnaeus , 17 December 2014 · 13 views

Potential energy stored in a spring (my survivors symbol) versus potential energy stored in a spring (a natural water source) met a comparison I learned as a child to hurricanes and potential energy to an atomic bomb and potential energy. Naturally the hurricane trumps the atomic bomb (growing up in the Cold War this was not unusual to have this as a less...


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Bashing Self For What?

Posted by Linnaeus , 15 December 2014 · 22 views

I really do not get, on gods green earth, in matters with a history so disturbing, with advocacy in issues which relate to legal endearment - add being so freaggin stupid...that I have had ties to a ... where I came from a cult thing stops me short of saying more but what on the planet did I miss with the odd cult issues and the family ties to suspic...


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The Mouse and the Muse

Posted by Linnaeus , 14 December 2014 · 18 views

I knew better as a child but around me games played on while enforcement was rigid - some speak of over protectiveness.
 
Discrediting certain things to a repeated cause forcing fear - low self esteem - other things adapted to a idea where hidden behind the cold exterior of a person lay a soft heart.
 
This was all a part of a religious psycholo...


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The Mouse and the Muse

Posted by Linnaeus , 14 December 2014 · 23 views

I knew better as a child but around me games played on while enforcement was rigid - some speak of over protectiveness.
 
Discrediting certain things to a repeated cause forcing fear - low self esteem - other things adapted to a idea where hidden behind the cold exterior of a person lay a soft heart.
 
This was all a part of a religious psycholo...


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Notes

Posted by Linnaeus , 12 December 2014 · 65 views

Trigger Warning
 
I was told my abuser was abused by his mother (my father). One story sounded pretty sick, as he was potty training his mother was said to have done something to him. I was fortunate, my mother was very kind. Just where history intersects with fraternal ideas and race (and of course religion). I was young speaking on abuse only to be...


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So...what does this mean?

Posted by Linnaeus , 11 December 2014 · 40 views

If there's wonder to the meanings in my journey I noted passing a phase in conflict where I'd been dumped andhad a professional inciting ideas that seemed against what ought to have occurred professionally. I think the person disliked women in context of his survivorship andsaw me as one within his "bias".
 
When no one stood up for me as a child may...


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Not Feeling Right

Posted by Linnaeus , 10 December 2014 · 30 views

I'm in a gun show in 1984 watching a blackballing only to see a series of events leading to a politician's support of food but inside some "war of the sexes" and bad union business. That Masonic thing, I saw the insinuations about phallic symbols in DC. Having wondered why the history had religious abuses and frauds aiming to stoke fear, it's like sa...


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Love

Posted by Linnaeus , 08 December 2014 · 31 views

I had this fantasy based on a state of being coupled to that type of movie The Matrix. I held a daring woman in my arms who traveled the world as I, we have an exciting life. We separate for long periods, but when we come together the passion, life and energy is fantastic between us. What is this? Well adjusted ideas to a delusion that's created...


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False Shame

Posted by Linnaeus , 08 December 2014 · 40 views

I was abused in child porn - so what.
 
I played with a neighbor my age - so what (we did normal things)
 
I was a teen and promiscuous - so what.
 
I masturbated - so what.
 
I got an STD - so what.
 
I joke about sex and sexuality - so what.
 
I don't abuse - I broke the cycle - that's something to be happy about....


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Opinion

Posted by Linnaeus , 02 December 2014 · 38 views

If you can imagine witnessing a terrorist event as a survivor, war time isn't the time to get sentimental. It's not the time to seek answers. It's not the time to try identifying with your history. That's a statement, part of my reality - something I tried to do. Now being "real" I look at fact and freedom and human nature to differentiate my right, chara...


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Do I Bother You?

Posted by Linnaeus , 25 November 2014 · 45 views

Hmm.
 
As my father died in a corporate scandal and aims at me as a witness to his private business affairs tied to a politician, that politician waged a war on me saying anything and everything. I was not a drug dealer, arsonist, murderer, homosexual, pedophile, woman hater, all those things that seemed to link a biker gang to his father in law wher...


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Warrior Spirit - just lil old me

Posted by Linnaeus , 24 November 2014 · 34 views

Gez. Is it acceptable to define a higher intelligence as my higher power? If I did that, I'd been speaking of my past under religion. A counselor clearly pointed out his motivations while declaring his labels to my trust in him - spilling my guys under a promise which was betrayed. Odd it was - I'd left his session once and opened the door to walk up the...


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Way Ward Sentiment

Posted by Linnaeus , 24 November 2014 · 25 views

"You weren;t there" said a relative on my case and witness to terrorism. I think that person was speaking of the fact I was not in NYC when terrorists attacked us.
 
My response as a witness and abuses I survived was silence. Most know I'd blown a whistle, spoke to the feds and lost my kids while having been left for dead to a cult. I wasn;t there, t...


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Just Me

Posted by Linnaeus , 23 November 2014 · 19 views

I'm a human being, but I was called a holy terror and hazed and demonized demanded to be a destroyer. I was then cast to condemnation "you just want to be loved" - be a man as I was, to reject lies and a funnel to a religious clan - to speak of lies, I spoke only to face demonization. I've been asking people near me, "tell the truth" - it's as i...


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Humor it...

Posted by Linnaeus , 23 November 2014 · 22 views

I ran into a fix it priest with a doctor who infiltrated the hospital I had my daughter in. I'd been asked to testify against someone but at church the prayer team had a criminal. That lead to a funnel where I was thrown into an institution.
 
Years after I had begun a new life. Then I found politics involved. I called the feds, next thing - after te...






December 2014

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