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never enough

Posted by whodatninja , 24 February 2014 · 58 views

went to the store on my way home and picked up another bottle of whiskey. I plan to stay in my room and drink and pass out. I realise that no matter what I do I won't get heard unless I do something drastic like threaten to kill myself but I'm not suicidal. I don't want to say something I don't mean to get them to pay attention. I'm trying to stave off a...


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nervous

Posted by whodatninja , 24 February 2014 · 21 views

t said he was scared about waking me up knowing I had the taser and baton on me. so he called my name which I couldn't hear because the noise in my head was too loud. Krishna help me keep it together a little while longer.


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losing it

Posted by whodatninja , 24 February 2014 · 36 views

i have to go home after being unsuccessful. I missed my short time frame to see my t because I disassociated and couldn't get back in my body. he thinks I'm being overly emotional about nothing. the stress is making me snap. the mental strain is just too much. I'm sick of not getting heard. but it seems they prefer a breakdown. I'm scared I won't come bac...


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slow going

Posted by whodatninja , 24 February 2014 · 34 views

t finally called when I threatened to come to the office and bust his knees. he knew I was serious I have a taser and baton - shock and whack. I got on the bus and I do have it with me. anyway I was short with him and he assumed I was fine. I dint feel like yelling at him because he's just a lost cause. they're content on drugging away my issues instead o...


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fiending for painkillers

Posted by whodatninja , 24 February 2014 · 37 views

curled up crying because the pain is too great. I'm feeling sick to my stomach because it's too damn much. I want painkillers so bad right now. at this point liver be damned. I don't want to feel anything.


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too stiff to move

Posted by whodatninja , 24 February 2014 · 17 views

pills work way too well- I don't feel shit but now my body is super tense. I know why but there's no point in discussing it anymore everyone else got what they wanted. the tension is making it hard for me to work though. on one hand it's nice not to feel nor dream but it sucks that it manifests on other ways. the crushing weight will eventually destroy m...





If you're reading this...

... then you know I don't put in trigger.gif labels. Welcome inside my head. You've been warned.

February 2014

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