i hate trying to find someone to talk to. they think my wanting to kill myself is for attention. they think my problems are so miniscule. i fucking hate being alive. i know i'll only disappint CB, but i can't do this anymore. having "friends" is stupid. they're only there for when things go well and when you have money. otherwise, they stab you in the back and suck you dry for everything you have. i got sick of dating because all i get are creepy old men who like to hurt me. no girl looks at me because i'm "too weird" yet they hit on my sister all the time (we're twins) and she's straighter than a straight arrow.
the family is only going to throw away my stuff and not send for the crap i have in storage. RJ promised to help me get it out but now he's "too busy" and says i should learn to drive and get it myself. i have shit vision and cars cost too much to maintain. but then again, he never listens to what i say so i should stop saying anything to him, or anybody.
the awful heat and humidity's cooled off some. going to fix a drink and sulk some more.i need to get this plan perfect.