Jump to content


new therapist

Posted by whodatninja , 30 May 2014 · 126 views

got a new idiotic clown to deal with. she talks about herself a lot and is always praising the program and how effective it is. i nod and try not to go to sleep. i don't care about being here. i don't like her. she didn't really ask me any questions, just shoved the brocure and gabbed on and on about the benefits of the program. when she did ask me a few things, she vowed to resolve my issues (by becoming another brainwashed dummy perhaps?). I said okay, see you next week.
she was adamant that i take the pills the psych prescribes and i said no, not happening because they just don't work. what about a new combination or ...? i shut it down real quick. no combos, no pills. if that's "therapy blocking behaivor" then suck eggs. you're lucky my ass is here listening to you.
she's not going to listen at all. i can just tell. it's "follow protocol, take pills" and blah blah blah. it's always the same. i don't trust her at all and she knows this. she claims i don't really want to be helped. i told her then why did i drag my ass out of bed and make the 2 hour journey across town to see your stupid face this early in the morning. i must want help because i'm here.
ugh, i don't want to deal with this again. i really don' t want to deal with anyone at all. they always see me as a problem to be fixed, some kind of special project to mould and shape so they can mark me off as a 'success story'. bitch please.
i don't see what the big deal is. "you have to want to live". no, i don't. i don't have to do shit. i'm sick of the got to need to have to mess. i'm sick of no one fucking listening. when i mentioned i'm a writer and own a small press i got another 'oh that's nice' drivel. i don't see why i bother mentioning it at all. they automatically assume because i'm some kind of crazy that my books are crazy person writings. maybe it is and i'm just fooling myself.
she also got on my case about my heavy drinking. i told her until she lives in the enviroment i'm in, she can shove it in her ear. "then you must want to be miserable."
yea, thanks, i like being poor. i like being used and hurt. i like being stuck in this hell with no way out. thanks a lot for being so understanding lady with the fancy degree and fancy job and fancy car and fancy clothes. thanks for just looking at me and knowing oh so much better on how to fix my life.
i need to get back to planning. i can't take the bullshit anymore.

Next week I have a second appointment with a psychiatrist. I don't know why the hell I'm going. I like my current therapist. I enjoy talking to her. But my time with her is ending in a month. So I got a referral to this psychiatrist. And after an hour of answering his questions he says he wants me to take antidepressants. My therapist, who I have been seeing for over a year, never suggested antidepressants. I have spent more than sixty hours with her. I think she knows me better than this psychiatrist. My therapist hears, from her clients, that they get the same shit, prescribed meds, kind of like it is a default go-to from psychiatrists.


Now I'm not saying meds are no good, but they should be used in combination with other things to help make your life better. The key point is to make your life better. Real change. Not chemical imbalance shit.


Hey, just my opinion. 

May 30 2014 08:43 PM

i get the "chemical imbalance" song all the time. to them i'm nothing more than a list of psychiatric disorders and deviant behavior problems. never ask me why i'm acting this way or what caused the issue. just medicate until it goes away. it's like they get off on seeing me like some drooling zombie. i'm no better to them than drooling in the back ward looped out of my skull on thorazine.

If you're reading this...

... then you know I don't put in trigger.gif labels. Welcome inside my head. You've been warned.

June 2016

262728 29 30  

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.