i might as well smash my head against the wall. just to comprehend the sheer stupidity around me. but already my memory is going bad (too much booze will do that). maybe if i get dumber, i'll be more accepted. i already get pats on the head and 'that's nice honey' whenever i try to work hard on my projects. but now i see it's just something for me 'to do' to 'keep me out the way' and they're just saying bullshit to my face to keep me away from them.
just realising it's all bullshit sickens and saddens me. in the end i'm still a goddamn nobody. universe, you fucking suck. krishna you blow just as hard. i fucking hate this miserable ass life i'm stuck with. I'm fading into nothing, just a waste of space of matter and air and screaming will do nothing but bring unwanted attention and 'what the fuck is your issue' looks.