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afraid to sleep

Posted by whodatninja , 06 February 2014 · 27 views

I'm exhausted but i'm shaking at the mere thought of going to sleep again tonight. i don't want to dream that nightmare again. i'm so tense. i'm chain smoking and pacing. mom wonders what's wrong with me and i tell her it's nothing. i don't want to tell her. she doesn't listen, but she keeps bugging. what's the point if i told her? nothing she could do other than make me feel guilty or blame me. i don't need that right now. i have my funk and soul on blast to drive out the thoughts in my head but i'm still shaking. the room isn't warm enough yet. i just turned on the heater. but no matter how warm i make my room, once i go to sleep, it's dark and cold. i want to have the lamp on but i don't want mom to yell at me about the high electric bill. she already yelled at me about the high heating bill. i gave her 200 to shut her up. krishna help me, i don't want bad dreams tonight. i'm seriously thinking of taking a sleeping pill tonight. but i have more errands to run tomorrow morning and i don't want to be foggy. shit, i can't do this.

If you're reading this...

... then you know I don't put in trigger.gif labels. Welcome inside my head. You've been warned.

August 2014

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