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tried tested and found true

Posted by whodatninja , 05 February 2014 · 114 views

i used to think i was over my 'issues' and had no triggers. i thought my wall was thick enough, high enough and that nothing could hurt me. found wrong today. >_< i've been on edge for the past few days now and it's like EVERYTHING is setting me off. whether it's CB calling me bitching about my sending him money (though in the same breath 'i love you, i love you' blergh) or the damn baby crying (i can't stand baby's crying. it's a big trigger for me...) or RJ bugging me about helping take care of his damn mistake that i'd rather smother or VW bugging me for money so she can find more dudes to screw under the pretense of it being beneficital for my company. i just want to start SI again, but then there will be more questions. i can't go back to my old habits of stuffing down my feelings (binging) because now i can't stand the sight or smell of food right now. all these old feelings coming up and i'm trying to pretend everything's ok. but it's not okay. i can't even make a phone call without P listening in on my calls, or even VW listening so she can tell on me. fuck i need a stiff drink right now. i'm willing to walk the damn 2 miles in the goddamn snow for the cheap booze. fuck my life right now. fuck fuck fuck

If you're reading this...

... then you know I don't put in trigger.gif labels. Welcome inside my head. You've been warned.

July 2016

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