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nowhere to turn

Posted by whodatninja , 06 February 2014 · 44 views

i feel trapped in my head, in my own private hell. i want the bad stuff gone, the dreams to disappear, the memories to be erased. i can't even bring myself to write about them, about the sights, sounds, smells, etc. i feel, i hear, i keep reliving it over and over. i want it to stop. i might brave this snow, get my cigarettes get some sangria and just cra...


starting to doubt

Posted by whodatninja , 06 February 2014 · 59 views

CB called again, pleasantries then where's my money. i fake a smile and talk through my teeth and then i tell him i'm hanging up. he's not as different as i thought. i thought he loved me. i'm just another object to him. i'm going to hate him too, like i do RJ. i might just swear men off altogether. they're evil lying bastards.


without warning

Posted by whodatninja , 06 February 2014 · 29 views

I was freaking out because i had to watch what i say and try to figure out if something i said would warrant a label or something, then i realised i had no real space to be myself without having to look over my shoulder. i don't care if someone else reads my blog. no one ever reads what i write or care what i have to say since i'm a liar and tell too many...


in a fog

Posted by whodatninja , 06 February 2014 · 24 views

i can't stand it that my mom keeps asking me what's wrong, what's the matter what's bothering you. she know's something's wrong because i'm withdrawn, i stay in my room and i can't sleep. i can't tell her, she keeps saying she'll stop asking, she won't pry, but she's a nosy woman and keeps bugging me and bugging me. i wish she'd stop. i won't tell her, i...


a hard night

Posted by whodatninja , 06 February 2014 · 59 views

i kept waking up. it was nothing but nightmares all night. i started fighting sleep, trying to keep awake when i felt myself dozing off so i wouldn't dream because i knew that i was going to dream bad things again. i feel so sick and dirty right now. i've never been so exhausted in my life. i don't want to see nighttime.


and i wake up screaming

Posted by whodatninja , 06 February 2014 · 50 views

i haven't been sleeping well since i told my t monday the truth about the incident that caused my psychological problems. i hadn't even started discussing yet. but the dreams have worsened. i really can't sleep now, sweating and shaking after this vivid one. i need to get this out of my system. the usual warnings apply.

If you're reading this...

... then you know I don't put in trigger.gif labels. Welcome inside my head. You've been warned.

February 2014


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