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Really down

Posted by whodatninja , 11 June 2015 · 44 views

I hate having this diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. It doesn't help I meet the criteria either. But now I'm really being avoided like the plague and it makes the crushing lonliness worse. I keep working hard and pretending I'm fine. Mother knows I'm unhappy but I don't tell her anything and just keep doing the usual staying silent and wor...


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Ordered around

Posted by whodatninja , 07 June 2015 · 56 views

I really hate my sister. She always try to boss me around and always telling me to shut up if I say stuff she don't want to hear or if I point out her foolishness. Those stupid dbt /cbt skills don't work. It always ends up in a screaming match and my stuff get destroyed. She always wanna cry victim when stuff don't go her way and in her fantasy world...


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Ordered around

Posted by whodatninja , 07 June 2015 · 56 views

I really hate my sister. She always try to boss me around and always telling me to shut up if I say stuff she don't want to hear or if I point out her foolishness. Those stupid dbt /cbt skills don't work. It always ends up in a screaming match and my stuff get destroyed. She always wanna cry victim when stuff don't go her way and in her fantasy world...


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Sitting alone

Posted by whodatninja , 06 June 2015 · 72 views

I want to talk to mother but I can't say anything sad or negative or how I really feel. I'm always around miserable people who don't want to hear me but dump their shit on and shut me down if I dare complain or want to talk. I want to talk to somebody without being judged or censored or misunderstood . I hate having to not say anything or codify what...


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Party

Posted by whodatninja , 06 June 2015 · 52 views

At my aunts bday party. I'm dancing to the music trying not to cry. It's mainly soul and blues stuff my dad listen to. I will be going to the cemetery on father's day. I really miss him.
So currently drinking and pretending I'm okay though I could care less about this stupid party. I only came to get out the house...


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Dead zone

Posted by whodatninja , 04 June 2015 · 52 views

Working late and realising how much time and effort I'm wasting since idiot sister isn't doing much but her usual whoring around and leaving me with the slack. I want to go out and see a movie and do fun things. Why do I have to work all the time. That dumb broad don't have a job and always run the street and bitching how depressed and poor she is. Sh...


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Performance

Posted by whodatninja , 02 June 2015 · 49 views

I feel lonely and depressed daily. Of course no one to talk to. I don't even try anymore. There is no real need for me to leave the house. Most people annoy me. I want my own place to die in peace but stupid family want me to help them with this and that *despite that I am dying*. Their needs always come first. My wishes and desires be damned. As l...


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Carrying on

Posted by whodatninja , 30 May 2015 · 73 views

Tried to talk to idiot sister but ended up having a huge row and argued for 4 hours. Of course it ended up being about her and her issues and basically she didn't want to hear what I had to say. Instead I got a full barrage of insults and the like. She believed me when I lied about the doctor at first because she really don't care for my heath so her idl...


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Pretending to be strong

Posted by whodatninja , 28 May 2015 · 65 views

I hate that I have to be strong all the time. I'm not allowed to feel pain or cry because it's weak. I can never have problems. I can't tell anyone my problems. I'm always told to ignore how I feel and if I have problems just let the gods handle it and pray on it. Apparently it's too much to ask for a sympathetic ear.


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Hateful

Posted by whodatninja , 28 May 2015 · 53 views

I tried to talk to idiot sister and as usual she yelled at me belittling my issues and basically snapped at me since the convo wasn't about her stupid boy problems. She got the nerve to be depressed about having no job since she always quit work or have a shit attitude with people but never realise it's her not them she so quick to blame. So I'm lockin...






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September 2015

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