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painting pictures

Posted by whodatninja , 24 June 2016 · 24 views

neighbors talk about how thin im getting - must be some fancy new diet or exercise routine. they wont leave me alone so i lie and say old fashioned calesthenics and eating a healthy vegan diet. never mind im *actually dying from cancer*. if i admit it they think im lying or being "dramatic again". -_-
then theres always some dude in my face because i wea...


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rei

Posted by whodatninja , 23 June 2016 · 19 views

i finally thought about my life long enough to cut my ties. i tried explaining and telling my story to deaf ears. now is a time for action.


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some light

Posted by whodatninja , 22 June 2016 · 37 views

the ghetto neighbor down the street is concerned about my well being. she called me this morning bugging me to come over. i didnt want to but i figured i could just go so she wouldnt bug me. i went there and told her what i did when she asked me whats wrong. she let me cry and rant and said i could leave town with her next month. she said i need to start...


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doubts about improvement

Posted by whodatninja , 22 June 2016 · 20 views

im getting rid of all my things. i dont want to see anyone or leave my room. given where my life is right now there is no way things will get better.
i tried making a pros and cons list of reasons to keep living. the only pro i could come up with was finiahing my projects but they are just wastes of time to keep the crazy person busy. if i were as talente...


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abject failure again

Posted by whodatninja , 21 June 2016 · 13 views

screwed up on the poison - ended up with severe cramps and frothy diarrehia instead and laid up sick wondering how i failed yet again. idiot sister tells me to buck up and work harder as she goes on about her new job dude and coming baby. i roll my eyes. i make agreeable noise and go back in my room to plan some more. im tired of constantly being a failur...


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give it a day

Posted by whodatninja , 21 June 2016 · 20 views

was going to go through with the plan today but it was my older sisters birthday so had to postpone. im trying tomorrow and will keep trying until i succeed. im sick of being told things will improve things will get better etc etc. praying and hoping will not improve my lot in life. at the end of the day im still poor black and considered crazy. juat anot...


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worn

Posted by whodatninja , 20 June 2016 · 25 views

I wish I had something profound to say. Something super meaningful. Something that could change the world.
I don't have anything. Im just another husk of space dust taking up space.
I am not making any difference by merely existing.
These dreams are impossibly foolish. Just pet the crazy on the head and say that's nice honey to keep them quiet and out t...


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trapped

Posted by whodatninja , 19 June 2016 · 33 views

I don't feel like going out today. I don't feel like smiling. I don't feel like pretending I'm fine for every one else's benefit. No one gives two shits about me unless I'm doing something for them. So today I'm not doing much of anything. Tomorrow and the next day too. Im just done dealing with everything and everyone. Im done being here. I don't feel li...


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new job

Posted by whodatninja , 09 June 2016 · 40 views

took up a new job at the art store. its part time but i enjoy it. also learning airbrushing which is something i always wanted to do. im saving up for my own airbrushing machine. family still has their noses up at art but i go to work happy and leave happy. im happy at this job.


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enough already today

Posted by whodatninja , 06 June 2016 · 23 views

i took a walk got some candy and went to the park to watch the sunset. there were no swings. i wish i had real friends. the people here are horridly selfish. i cant trust anyone. theyre always about what i can do for them. im sick of it. im at the point where im ready to pack my bags get on my bike and go. just disappear and never come back.






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... then you know I don't put in trigger.gif labels. Welcome inside my head. You've been warned.

June 2016

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