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my crazy life



Posted by crazycatlover , in about my feelings 24 April 2014 · 189 views

Though I do not have DID this way of thinking about things has been partially inspired by those on here that do. I guess the difference Is I see these parts as aspects of one person-me not separate people. the main part of me is the teenager with mostly normal teenage feelings.another part is the parent who is always yelling at the teenager ,and tries to...


comparing myself to others

Posted by crazycatlover , in about my abuse 23 April 2014 · 189 views

this has been a problem since i joined pandys. it started with me reading other people's horrible stories of what happened to them and thinking "I haven't been through anywhere near that much -why do I have all these issues?" now I've realized the reason I saw my former T,the bad one,was comparison of another kind. I thought since the way my T did things...



Posted by crazycatlover , in about my feelings 19 April 2014 · 177 views

I don't remember if easter is an anni for me but I know my cousin often came over around easter....I think the association with him has been enough to make the last few days triggering.easter is supposed to be about jesus supposedly rising from the dead......will I ever rise to a place where my abuse no longer hurts me? I still don't know what I believe r...


green belt

Posted by crazycatlover , in about my feelings 15 April 2014 · 155 views

I just finnally got a green belt in karate. I've noticed that my belt reflects not only my growth as a karate student ,but also my growth as a person. it's fitting that I've got a new belt as over the last few months I've changed so much. I've finally been able to feel okay cursing. though calling my  now former t the C word was very hard for me to d...


to all the parents here

Posted by crazycatlover , in about other stuff 11 April 2014 · 168 views

I decided to make a guide on how to raise a teenager/child based on what I wish my parents did
when your child is a teenager ,pretend you don't know that they masturbate
Don't treat crying and screaming like "bad" behavior -sometimes we need to let it out but do teach them that if they want something from you they should ask calmly
with cursing don't tell...


fear of dying

Posted by crazycatlover , in about my feelings 09 April 2014 · 113 views

It's acting up again because this afternoon I'm going to see a specialist who can hopefully figure out what's wrong with my body. for some reason part of me is convinced I'm going to die....
I don't want to die I'm too young I'm only 18....
I want to go to college
I want to find a job I love
I want to live in my own house
i want to find someone I can trul...


to my aunt

Posted by crazycatlover , in about other stuff 28 March 2014 · 128 views

I might send this to her depending on whether it sounds nasty or not if I make up my mind that this is how I feel.
When I came out to you a new world opened up
we started talking
that was almost a year ago now
we had our good times and our bad times
I looked up to you ,felt close to you
you told me I could curse to you
I don't think you ever understood wh...


report from the new T

Posted by crazycatlover , in about my abuse 26 March 2014 · 165 views

I don't know what I think about her. she talks to me in that tone of voice like I'm a little kid....I can't imagine being close to her like I am to my other T....I was okay with talking about what happened to me but when she was starting to get into the area of relationships and I should have told her I like girls I froze up and couldn't....


could there be more?

Posted by crazycatlover , in about my abuse 24 March 2014 · 163 views

I've had this feeling that there's more that happened to me then I remember for a while....at first I thought I was just trying to validate my problems,since they feel like so much in proportion to the little that actually happened to me....but now I'm exploring the possiblitiy that it's really true and it's fucking terrifying.....I assume if there is mor...


a new therapist and the real me

Posted by crazycatlover , in about my feelings 21 March 2014 · 173 views

I'm going to see a therapist with more experience with sexual abuse next wednesday.It seems like I'lls till be able to see the therapist I've been seeing as well.I hope this will help me finnally get some of this shit figured out.... but I am doubting that I will be able to show her the real me -the one who curses and needs to curse sometimes ,who gets an...

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