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am I crazy

Posted by hepless , 05 January 2014 · 88 views

Last night a week after the possible drug and rape, praying hubby got there before it took place. Still searching my mind to remember having anxiety attacks ect. My husband cuddled and hugged me made me feel safe and said he believes me and that he believes he got to me before it happened. There were a few anxiety attackes in the process but we made love. It felt good and wrong, it freaked me out but hes my husband and he loves me. I not sure if I did it to feel he still loved and cared for me that we were stepping forward to be normal. I was scared but wanted it at the same time. I had reservations but surpressed thembecause I love him and want him to love me, he was so mad to find me in that state to think that I would do that. But as they days have gone on and we keep trying put pieces together about that night, he knows I would never have done that. Am I pushing to fast our we as a couple pushing to fast to feel normal. We both know we are still going to have are ups and downs about this, we may have anger too cause I know I sure what to kill the guy, but am I or should or should I say we rushing to be normal again??????

January 2015

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