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feeling rushed

Posted by hepless , 04 January 2014 · 109 views

I just had this horrible thing happen only 6 dats ago, my husband knows as he was one to find me naked and passed out(no waking me) in my very older neighbours bed. I get he has anger and confussion, one min he believes me next he doesnt. I remember nothing of that night but sitting at kitchen table having a holiday drink with them(2 male neighbours) have socilized with for years. My husband expects me to run to a councelor right away, go to hospital right away face the dozen or so ppl he told ect. I have booked for a test, I have been online reading ect talking to a friend. Trying to understand and racking my brain to remember something. I feel like I need go at my own pace. Im all over the map and so is he. I cant control my crying, my anger when I feel like he pushing me to fast, anger that he has his moments he dont believe me. I dont know what to do is he right should I make this go as fast as I can.



I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It is your journey, in your time, in your way. Your husband's reaction is understandable but it is still unhelpful for you. It is not up to him to tell people YOUR story, but he may take a while to understand that it is your story, not his. Do you think he would be prepared to read some information for secondaries from this site? I can find you a link if you like? Thinking of you. There is a lot to deal with here.
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angelica1966
Jan 04 2014 02:23 PM

helpless,

 

I am sorry that you experienced what you did. I am sorry, too, for feeling rushed by your husband to heal. It seems that this is a normal reaction by those who are close to us. They fluctuate between believing and wanting to fix things for us...and then disbelief and all its accompanying emotions...it stinks and can be quite frustrating and confusing.

 

With you as you process this through...you are not alone...

i had few drinks prior to going over,  I wasnt drunk when I went over. I dont know if I was drugged, Im not even sure if he got in me (GROSSES THOUGHT EVER) my husband came in see guy walk out in underwear with hard on and I passed right out naked. I was stupid for not going when I realized what may have happened to get screened. I pray my husband got there in time. I understand why he told ppl plus git ppl cause he was about to kill him.Im glad hes here and trying but it gets hard when he flips to disbelieve and thinks I just took my clothes off myself. I blame myself for going over, I blame myself for my love of beer, i blame myself for not going home earlier when my husband text me. i also blame that guy for not taking the offer of other neighbour to take me home. I dont know what to believe my husband was told i was clothed passed out prior to finding me naked. that y

i dont understand y my husband thinks I could of undressed myself. 

Helpless,

Not to excuse anyone's behavior but maybe he cannot yet wrap his mind around it all and escaping to not believing you gives him a time out. I don't know you our your husband but I do know that often times when a wife or girlfriend is assualted, the husband or boyfriend feels a sense of responsibility and therefore failure to protect you. Even if there was nothing realistic they could have done. Chances are he could benefit from talking to someone also. Either with you or on his own. He was not asualted but he must still feel tons of emotions he is probably not sitting well with. You need to do what you need to do in your time. Please dont second guess yourself. You handle what you can when you can. Hopefully he will come to understand that.

Please take gentle care of yourself.

August 2014

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