I'm a huge disappointment to my family and myself
I also feel like I constantly hound him. I need to feel his love. I need his touch. But, I think I'm going about it all wrong. I feel so embarrassed. I feel so needy. I feel so lonely.
With my 12 year old daughter, I share custody with my ex. So I see her 1/2 the time. When she's with me, I feel like a lump. It's really hard for me to take her to do things because of my anxiety attacks but yesterday I managed to take her to the movies. We had a good time. She really enjoyed our mother/daughter time. Today she asked me to go in the pool with her. I couldn't. I made up every excuse not to. I can see her disappointment. I can't bring myself to go outside today.
My daughter and my husband get along, but not to the point I'd like. They talk very little and they don't even say goodnight to eachother. This is also very hard on me.
I feel like I disappoint my husband. I feel like I disappoint my daughter. I don't even know why I'm writing this, I guess I just needed to get it out.