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Day 236: Experiencing Anxiety from Lack of Information

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work, Gynecology 03 August 2014 · 154 views

Aug. 3, 2014 Intrepid Age = 164 Days
 
A week to go until the self-catheterization appointment. I spoke briefly with the ObGyn and asked her what the appointment will involve. The answer wasn't sufficiently detailed for me. It didn't tell me anything more than I know already. I was looking for more of a step-by-step description. Will anyone else touch me? How will we decide the size of the catheter to use? Will they explain to me and send me on my own to try it out?
 
Somehow the answers matter to me a great deal. With the pelvic exam I pretty much knew what to expect because I had a few of them before. But with this, I just don't know.
 
I'm feeling dizzy now writing this. The anxiety is pretty intense. I don't think I can say anything more about it tonight. I'd better log off. Have a good night/day everyone!



Sorry for the intense stress this is causing for you it is understandable. Does this doctor know anything about your history? Can you take a card with a few instructions or information? ...... will be happy for you when its over. E
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intrepidshe
Aug 04 2014 09:37 AM
Hi Elaina, Thanks for the suggestions. She does know and we have a good relationship. I need to ask her again, but be clear about what I want to know.

sitting with you

Anxiety often steels so much of our energy, doesn't it? I'm sure you've been very busy with work and life in general, I hope you've had the chance to talk to your doctor again to get that more specific information that you wanted. It's understandable that the information is so very important to you. I hope you don't feel like asking for that knowledge is somehow unreasonable or bad because it absolutely is not. If you want to be informed then you should be. 

 

A friend taught me "Do not fear the unknown, make it known and then decide if it is worth being afraid of." This is what you are doing, you are working to gain a much better understanding so that you can make informed decisions. Everything you are doing, from asking your doctor about what will go on during the appointment to asking AF if she will be there to support you, to actually going to the appointment will help you reach for a better life. 

 

Seeking information is a challenge but to do so is not to step out of line and once we have the information we are empowered. Be empowered Intrepid. 

 

<3

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intrepidshe
Aug 07 2014 09:52 PM

Sugar,

 

What a wonderful quote:

 

A friend taught me "Do not fear the unknown, make it known and then decide if it is worth being afraid of."

 

Thanks for sharing that. It was much needed today.

About Intrepid She

This is a moderated PUBLIC blog. This blog is a therapeutic tool I am using to help me get over my fear of doctors, which is made difficult by a history of abuse by them, to learn to grieve, and ultimately to integrate my dis-integrated heart.

 

View postings specific to health care.

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The content of this blog is not appropriate for children or for anyone who might be triggered by reading about sexual abuse.

 

To the many others walking your own version of this path, I wish you well on your journey. -Intrepid

 

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