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Day 178: Part 2

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 07 June 2014 · 251 views

June 6, 2014 Intrepid Age = 107 Days:
I tried to ignore this but it is nagging at me.

I am worried about seeing my Portland Friend (PF) tomorrow. I am staying the night with them. I plan to read my f-ing mother letter to her. I don't know what will come of this. I shouldn't be afraid, but I am. Even though we have been friends for more than 25 years, this is a big step that could change that friendship. What will she think of me? How will I react? I have never been emotional in front of her. Could this harm the friendship?

My brain says no. But Little Intrepid doesn't want to risk losing PF. She has been a constant through everything. She means so much to me. I love her.

Gosh, and I need her too!

She has been a stabilizing force in my life. She has been a touchstone. She has helped me find my way when I have been lost. She has simply walked beside me no matter what crazy path I have taken.

It mystifies me. She just loves me too. Will she still if she sees how am I am now? Heaven help me I am going to find out tomorrow night.

What I imagine that it will do is make her love you all the more. I pray that this goes well. Your courage is wonderful and inspiring. :hug: I will be in your pocket, as I am sure many others here will be too.
She sounds like an amazing friend, she loves you and will walk beside you and support you again on this ....you are strong and courageous for doing this.
Jun 07 2014 12:44 PM

Thanks for the support and pocket ride! I'll be leaving in a couple hours.

You will be in my heart and prayers. :hug:
I hope things are going well for you today. Your pf has shown support so far. :hug:

I hope things are going well!!!

Jun 08 2014 08:05 PM

Mand, Nebula, and Lolli,


Thanks! I appreciated seeing these messages over the weekend. They were heartening and helped me keep going.

About Intrepid She

This is a moderated PUBLIC blog. This blog is a therapeutic tool I am using to help me get over my fear of doctors (which is made difficult by a history of abuse by them) to learn to grieve, and ultimately to integrate my dis-integrated heart.


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The content of this blog is not appropriate for children or for anyone who might be triggered by reading about sexual abuse.


To the many others walking your own version of this path, I wish you well on your journey. -Intrepid


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