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Day 135: Successful ObGyn Appointment

Posted by intrepidshe , in Gynecology, Healing Work 24 April 2014 · 188 views

Apr. 24, 2014 Countdown: 3 hours after ObGyn Appointment (64 Days Into Becoming):
 
Wow, I feel great! The appointment went really well and I learned some incredibly helpful things. She gave me amazing, empowering information I have needed for such a long time! I have a weird form of thyroid disease and she was able to identify a possible explanation for why I don't have enough active thyroid hormone. My thyroid tests show I should have too much active thyroid hormone. But, I actually have very, very low active thyroid hormone (which is needed for almost EVERYTHING the body does).
 
She says it's possible this problem is caused by me having a low-acid stomach. She has some strategies we'll try to deal with it and see if it causes my body to accept the thyroid hormone meds I take. I am on very high doses of the meds because my body doesn't seem to absorb it. The problem could simply be that my stomach doesn't have enough acid to break down the medication and the meds are just passing through my body.
 
Amazing!!
 

I should explain that my ObGyn doctor is also a specialist in hormones. She is an expert in treating the hormonal changes that go with aging, as well as dealing with thyroid hormones in an individualized way.
 

She also saw evidence of my inability to sleep. She asked me to describe my sleep and I said, "in a word: terrible." She said it looks like I am not really sleeping at all, in that I do not get any delta sleep except on the weekends when I stay in bed for 12 or 13 hours. When I told her that, she said, "Good! Keep doing that until we get you sleeping."
 
Amazing!!
 
She said, "Looking at your labs, I can't believe you're even walking around. You have really accommodated this problem. Well, no more! We are going to fix it."
 
Amazing!!
 
I have a bunch of stuff to do and it's going to take months to get everything figured out. But for the first time in my life, I feel hopeful about what it will be like to inhabit my body. I feel I might actually WANT to inhabit my body.
 
At the end of the appointment she commented that I seemed to do well today. I affirmed that. She asked for a hug and I felt truly OK with it. I gave her a brief hug and then was able to leave comfortably.
 
Amazing!!
 
 
 
On another count, today I was sharp-edged again at work. Someone was frustrating me, not agreeing to do their job, and I squished them like a bug in front of other people. Posted Image Just this morning I was talking to my T about how I have bursts of aggression. She congratulated me on how I dealt with my hostile male colleagues recently. She pointed out, again, that I am moving away from shame. It was a very affirming conversation. She said she was proud of me and she wanted me to take notice of how I am changing. I felt really happy thinking about that.
 
But, I was still quite anxious at work today. I was still in pain, am still in pain, from the treatment I received earlier this week. And, we talked about how when one is in pain, it is difficult to be your best self. This truth was evidenced today . . . unfortunately. And, ironically on a day when I earlier celebrated my growth in this arena.
 
On the up side, I wrote an email apologizing for my reaction and stating how I should have reacted. I wasn't able to talk to her in person to apologize, but I am glad I took accountability. I didn't allow myself to get away with my aggressive behavior. I have a mantra as a leader, "It's about what you expect and what you allow." Well, that applies to me more than it does to anyone else. It's about what I expect and what I allow from myself.
 
 
 
Whew, what a day.



So happy things went well with the doctor. 

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intrepidshe
Apr 24 2014 09:34 PM

Thanks Lolli. It's a pleasant feeling . . . hopefulness. :-)

Intrepid - such personal growth and acceptance is evident in this blog. Of both yourself and your body. Yay you (((safe hugs))) :-) :-D
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intrepidshe
Apr 24 2014 11:01 PM

Intrepid - such personal growth and acceptance is evident in this blog. Of both yourself and your body. Yay you (((safe hugs))) :-) :-D

 

Thanks, Mand. You have helped me so much!

As you have me. That's why I am so happy to share here, because I know how much reading others blogs helps me. But more importantly I think, it is that the carefully considered responses to my posts and blogs promotes the greatest wealth of healing. That's why I always try to respond to a blog if I feel I can.
Yay! It went well! I was horrified and so nervous to go to my gyneo (first time two weeks ago) and although, yes, it is uncomfortable it is also informal. Plus it never hurts to get check to make sure that health is well.
:yahoo:

She said, "Looking at your labs, I can't believe you're even walking around. You have really accommodated this problem.


Isn't it strange that you were considering the option that there would be nothing wrong and the shame that might accompany that? Instead she was actually surprised you were keeping going...

I hope this allows you to have more trust in yourself, that if Intrepid thinks there is something wrong, then there is something wrong. And if the tests had come back normal then you would just have had to look somewhere else.

I'm impressed with the way you handled the issue at work. Again it shows that 'Intrepid is trustworthy'.

So thrilled for you!

:hug:
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yarnfoolishness
Apr 25 2014 01:26 PM

Yahoo!!!  :)

 

Susanna said it - exactly.  I'm doing the happy dance over here.  You're getting real help in things you desperately need help for.  I'd do cartwheels for you if I had any balance left!   :metoyou:

 

You did really well with the situation at work.  We all get reactive sometimes, but you handled it exactly right. 

 

So happy for you.    :hug:

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intrepidshe
Apr 25 2014 05:38 PM

As you have me. That's why I am so happy to share here, because I know how much reading others blogs helps me. But more importantly I think, it is that the carefully considered responses to my posts and blogs promotes the greatest wealth of healing. That's why I always try to respond to a blog if I feel I can.


Me too Mand. You articulated that perfectly!
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intrepidshe
Apr 25 2014 05:41 PM

Yay! It went well! I was horrified and so nervous to go to my gyneo (first time two weeks ago) and although, yes, it is uncomfortable it is also informal. Plus it never hurts to get check to make sure that health is well.


Writer, I am so glad to hear you got through it successfully! You are so right about the value of checking in on our health, especially since we have a tendency to ignore symptoms.
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intrepidshe
Apr 25 2014 07:56 PM

yahoo.gif



She said, "Looking at your labs, I can't believe you're even walking around. You have really accommodated this problem.


Isn't it strange that you were considering the option that there would be nothing wrong and the shame that might accompany that? Instead she was actually surprised you were keeping going...

I hope this allows you to have more trust in yourself, that if Intrepid thinks there is something wrong, then there is something wrong. And if the tests had come back normal then you would just have had to look somewhere else.

I'm impressed with the way you handled the issue at work. Again it shows that 'Intrepid is trustworthy'.

So thrilled for you!

hug.gif

 

 

Wow, Susanna. That really touches my heart. Thank you! wub.png

You're so right and this is what I would say to anyone else. Plus, you need to access health care even when you're healthy, just to check in and to maintain the relationship with the physician. They are much better at diagnosing and treating someone they know well.

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intrepidshe
Apr 25 2014 07:56 PM

Yahoo!!!  smile.png

 

Susanna said it - exactly.  I'm doing the happy dance over here.  You're getting real help in things you desperately need help for.  I'd do cartwheels for you if I had any balance left!   metoyou.gif

 

You did really well with the situation at work.  We all get reactive sometimes, but you handled it exactly right. 

 

So happy for you.    hug.gif

 

Thanks so much, Yarn! metoyou.gif

About Intrepid She

This is a moderated PUBLIC blog. This blog is a therapeutic tool I am using to help me get over my fear of doctors, which is made difficult by a history of abuse by them, to learn to grieve, and ultimately to integrate my dis-integrated heart.

 

View postings specific to health care.

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The content of this blog is not appropriate for children or for anyone who might be triggered by reading about sexual abuse.

 

To the many others walking your own version of this path, I wish you well on your journey. -Intrepid

 

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