Day 62: Coping with Gyno Fear
I'm feeling scared.
- I am scared of how I will react at the G exam appointment.
- I am scared of how it will feel to be touched down there by someone who could hurt me.
- I am scared of the crinkling paper on the exam bed.
- I am scared I might pass out during the exam.
Since I'm feeling scared tonight, accompanied by an array of physical symptoms, I will go through my Fear of Feeling exercise.
"When panic starts, sensible thinking stops. You cannot depend on being able to think very clearly at the time. For this reason, you should work through the 10 rules for dealing with strong feelings."
- I recognize my feelings are nothing more than an exaggeration of normal bodily functions.
- The feelings are not harmful or dangerous. They are unpleasant. I recognize that nothing worse will happen than feeling these unpleasant symptoms.
- I won't add to my anxiety by thinking about where these feelings might lead.
- I notice what is really happening in my body: my ribs hurt (actually the muscles between my ribs keep having spasms), I feel short of breath, my ears are ringing, my muscles in my jaw and face are tight, and my stomach is nauseous. I am not afraid of anything more than this happening.
- I will wait and give it time to pass. I am not fighting it or running from it. I accept how I am feeling as a normal reaction to my situation.
- The fear will start to fade on its own as I refuse to add to it.
- This buildup of anxiety is an opportunity to cope with fear, rather than avoid it. By coping with it I make progress. It will improve my ability to face the G exam.
- I have made progress in the months I have been preparing for the G exam. I have learned to recognize the symptoms of anxiety. I have begun to name my feelings and even share them with others. This is real progress.
- When I feel better I will decide what to do next. It might be taking a shower, it might be watching TV, or exercising for 20 minutes.
- When I am ready to go on, I will start off easy, in a relaxed way. I will not push myself, or be in a hurry.
It's OK to take this in small steps.
It. is. OK. to. take. this. in. small. steps.
I will take claim of my ability to care for myself. My abusers do not get to continue harming me because they took this from me.