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Intrepid She



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Day 32 Happy Thoughts (You Never Know What a Day Might Have in Store)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 12 January 2014 · 93 views

Jan. 11, 2014 (Countdown: 19 days to gynecologist consultation):
Really enjoyed the playoff game today. I was rooting for the Seahawks. I ended up watching it after it was over. It was really great to watch the game and relax this evening.
I was having a bit of a rough day when something terrible happened to other people outside my house. There was...


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Day 32 Healing Work (And I Fear)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 11 January 2014 · 226 views

Jan. 11, 2014 (Countdown: 19 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
I generally keep my forum postings and blog postings as independent activities. Today I think they need to be one and the same. I posted the following in the topic, "Sexual Assault by Trusted Professional."
 
I'm looking for input.
 
 
These two songs reflect what...


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Day 31 Happy Thoughts (A Half Dozen and A Song)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 10 January 2014 · 112 views

Jan. 10, 2014 (Countdown: 20 days to gynecologist consultation):
Today when I talked about the upcoming gynecologic consultation with my therapist I didn't feel sick to my stomach. I felt like I have a plan and if I follow the plan I'll be OK, even though it will be scary.
I felt more in my skin today, less anxious.
I laughed a lot at work today with my c...


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Day 31 Healing Work (Making People Rules)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 10 January 2014 · 132 views

Jan. 10, 2014 (Countdown: 20 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
--I have a question at the end of this post. It's a long post (as usual), so I thought I better say there is a question at the end, for anyone interested in answering.--
 
I had a therapy appointment today, which I nearly missed because I forgot about it. That's the first time t...


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Day 30 Happy Thoughts (actually, music and refuge)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 09 January 2014 · 105 views

Jan. 9, 2014 (Countdown: 21 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
The word "sonorous" came out when I was writing my daily healing entry today. It made me think about songs that are healing, which made me think of a song called "City of Refuge," written by Abigail Washburn. I realized, Pandy's is my city of refuge.
 
http://www.youtube.com/wat...


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Day 30: Abuse History Outline & The "Breakthrough Hangover" - MCook

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 09 January 2014 · 644 views

Jan. 9, 2014 (Countdown: 21 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
Today I am experiencing something MCook termed as a, "breakthrough-hangover." What a great term to describe the feelings we go through in the day or days following a breakthrough. Even as we feel triumphant from an important realization, accepting of a new memory, or resolute...


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Day 29 Happy Thoughts

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 09 January 2014 · 98 views

Jan. 8, 2014 (Countdown: 22 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
I posted part of my story in the My Story forum (Chapter 1: The Gynecologist) just now. It took me weeks to write it. There's more to the story, but I think the posting is the center of my story. I feel surprisingly ok. Not distressed. The work up to this point in p...


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Day 29 Healing Work (History of Stress: Good and Bad)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 08 January 2014 · 167 views

Jan. 8, 2014 (Countdown: 22 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
I developed an outline today that listed each of the major life landmarks of good stress and bad stress. It was enlightening. I am considering posting it. I feel hesitant about that for a number of reasons.
The information feels too close. If someone who knows me in...


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Day 28 Happy Thoughts

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 08 January 2014 · 135 views

Jan. 7, 2014 (Countdown: 23 days to gynecologist consultation):
I went to a musical tonight and had a great time!
I feel pretty darn tired and I think I'll sleep better tonight. I slept almost decently last night.
I ready Mary Fijalkovich's posting from today and again found affirming, sanity-making words that help me feel less ashamed, and more confident...


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Day 28: My Step-father

Posted by intrepidshe , in Touch, Healing Work 08 January 2014 · 589 views

Jan. 7, 2014 (Countdown: 23 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
I went to a musical right after work tonight. Of course, that means I had a wonderful evening because music is my first love. http://www.pandys.or...efault/love.gif
 
Funny I should think this right now, but I am remembering how music has always bee...


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"We can fear what we need" - Mary Fijalkovich

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work, Touch 07 January 2014 · 453 views

Mary Fijalkovich posted a work today that reached around my shoulders and felt like comforting I have so needed, and so feared.
 
http://frametheshame.blogspot.com/
 
She said (this is an excerpt, click the link above for the full post):
 
There is a thing that I don't want to admit.  A major point of resistance. I would sooner f...


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Day 27 Happy Thoughts

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 07 January 2014 · 82 views

Jan. 6, 2014 (Countdown: 24 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
I received a card today that made me laugh out loud several times. Oh, I do so love to laugh.
I am thankful for the joy that infuses my life. I am in a joyful and safe place for the first time in my life. I believe that is the reason I find myself on this healing path. I'm finally saf...


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Day 27 Healing Work (Holding Out)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 06 January 2014 · 120 views

Jan. 6, 2014 (Countdown: 24 days to gynecologist consultation):
 
I saw my T today. I often feel like the appointment goes at a breakneck pace because there are so many things screaming in my head. After the appointment today I experienced shortness of breath and dizziness for about 40 minutes. It wasn't severe, just uncomfortable.
 
The thing i...


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Day 26 Happy Thoughts

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 05 January 2014 · 87 views

Jan. 5, 2014 (Countdown: 25 days to gynecologist consultation):
I took it pretty easy today. Had several really good meals. Kept it low key for the day.
I feel tired and I think I'll sleep tonight.
I very much enjoyed time with my family today.
I am leaning into the compassion around me.



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Day 26 Healing Work (Friends, Sharing, In Pain Today)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 05 January 2014 · 206 views

Jan. 5, 2014. (Count down: 25 days until gynecologic consultation)
 
I'm a little bit all-over-the-place today. I have three things to talk about:
I have some thoughts I want to express about making friends, something I find difficult and confusing.
I also want to share some writing by a fellow (gifted) intrepid journeyer.
Lastly, I'm...


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Day 25 Happy Thoughts

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 05 January 2014 · 110 views

Jan. 4, 2014 (Count down: 26 days to gynecologic consult)
 
As I have been doing healing work today, an old movie is playing in the other room (no one is watching it). Normally I would turn off the TV if no one was watching it. It's insistent blaring is jarring to me. But, today, there has been something comforting about the familiarity of it, knowin...


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Day 25: Wanting Attention

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work 04 January 2014 · 760 views

Jan. 4, 2014 (Countdown: 26 days to gynecologic consult)
 
Again today I do not have an assigned exercise. I spent a good deal of the day reading and learning from others. I have been deeply touched by the messages of support and comfort as well as the courageous sharing that occurs on this site. I didn't have any expectations when I started an...


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Day 24 Happy Thoughts

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 03 January 2014 · 169 views

Jan. 3, 2013 (Count down: 27 days to gynecologic consultation)
 
I have been truly blessed by many people in my life. Far more people have been kind, supportive, encouraging, and lots of fun than have been hurtful to me. It's got to be at least a 10,000 to 1 ratio. Although I'm struggling of late to deal with that 0.01%, I am appr...


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Day 24 Healing Work (Heirarchy of Needs)

Posted by intrepidshe , in Healing Work, Touch 03 January 2014 · 182 views

Jan. 3, 2014 (Count down: 27 days to gynecologic consultation)
 
I don't have an exercise to work on today, although I have found many challenging/interesting exercises in the forums here. There are several I know I will do and even a couple I have done already. I have been surprised how helpful I find it to respond to a structured assignment. I shou...


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Day 23 Happy Thoughts

Posted by intrepidshe , in Happy Things 02 January 2014 · 102 views

Jan. 2, 2014 (Count down: 28 days to gynecologic consultation)
 
I typed 2014 correctly for the first time since it turned 2014. http://www.pandys.or...fault/winky.gif
I am grateful for Pat Benatar. She wrote, recorded, and performs a song that made a world of difference for me. Her song opened my mind to the truth of...






About Intrepid She

This is a moderated PUBLIC blog. This blog is a therapeutic tool I am using to help me get over my fear of doctors (which is made difficult by a history of abuse by them) to learn to grieve, and ultimately to integrate my dis-integrated heart.

 

View postings specific to health care.

View postings specific to touch.

View postings specific to crying.

 

The content of this blog is not appropriate for children or for anyone who might be triggered by reading about sexual abuse.

 

To the many others walking your own version of this path, I wish you well on your journey. -Intrepid

 

More Healing:

 

- Framed and Unashamed

- Yarnfoolishness' Journal

- Susanna's Blog

- What's Inside my Head?

- Healing Resources

Search My Blog

Contact Me Outside Pandys

I can be reached by email at a Gmail account based on my userid here in Pandys. I'm sure you can piece it together. I won't enter the address here because of bots that read email addresses from screens. I really don't want spam. But I wanted people outside of Pandys to be able to reach me.

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.