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What am I suppose to do

Posted by kate3 , 24 December 2013 · 139 views

It is both a blessing and a curse that I called/texted so many people while it was happening. It was good to have so many people show up at the house and get me out of there. It was a blessing to have my best friends take me to the hospital, be with me throughout the exam and through the following days. It is a blessing that I have records of everything that I texted and every phone call I made to prove that I was literally texting or on the phone the entire time which helped to support "my word against his". It is a curse because there are a lot of people who are affected. One of my friends said she feels like it happened to her. I was on the phone with her as it happened until he hit my phone out of my hand. My other friend introduced me to the guy and told me she would get me from his house in a few minutes. She though he was a "good guy". After, she asked me not to talk to her about it at all because she couldn't handle it. I haven't spoken with her about it until yesterday.
I did not call anyone as a witness for the hearing at my school. I didn't want them to have to go through that too. He called the friend who introduced me to him as a witness for the first hearning. After the hearing she said that she didn't realize it was going to be that hard. Yesterday his lawyer asked her to be a witness for another trial/hearing that I know nothing about. She agreed to be a witness for him (which is so dumb on his part because what she said did not help him in the slightest..it supported everything I had said).
Today she texted me saying that things feel awkward between us and like she is walking on eggshels. Granted, I did freak out on the phone when she told me it was not over and went all sorts of definsive on her and how I though it was all ridiculous that the lawyer even contacted her (with a few choice words). I told her I will call her tomorrow but I don't know what to say. Do I say I am pissed that she agreed to be a witness because it feels like she thinks she ows him something. Can I say that I feel like she has taken his side the entire time and that I know she doesn't think it was rape. Am I allowed to tell her that her definition of rape (a stranger jumping out of the bushes) is super rare and that I did nothing wrong. Or do I say that I am so angry she didn't walk across the street to me when I called her saying that I did not want to go home with him. Can I tell her that I feel betrayed that she is still "friends" with him after this. I don't know what to do in this situation. All of that is truly how I feel but if I said that it would be bad. I don't want to give him the power to ruin a friendship. She is one of my best friends and is flying across the country to celebrate the new year with me. I wish I had just run away from him or faught back but I didn't. I just wish it never happened.

February 2016

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