Helpful thoughts on self-blame.
First of all I want to state that I don't believe little children can ever be sexually responsible. The blame I henceforth speak of is just a feeling I only tend to have towards myself, which is, now I think of it, quite stupid of its own: why should you blame yourself things you wouldn't blame others? Anyway..
My mother always warned against the 'obvious' dangers of strangers offering sweets, hunting for little children, strangers who would do things to us we wouldn't want to happen and she drilled us in how we needed to react to such intrusions, which is in itself a good thing. Still, she failed to warn for the 'less obvious': what if your brother of sister would propose certain stuff to do together? What to do if said brother or sister wouldn't be very impressed by your reluctance or no and became pushy, mandating or even forcing? In the end my danger was the brother sleeping in the room next to mine, not the stranger at the corner of the street.
Now here is the thought, if parents aren't able to recognise all dangers, why should an unprepared child be able to recognise what is happening to him. I tend to blame myself for not recognising, but why? There is really no need to.