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Violent Fantasies (TW)

Posted by anelisa , in Sexual Assault, Anxiety 08 January 2014 · 160 views

It started out as nightmares.
I would relive past traumas.
Then it began to escalate.
The nightmares would veer from the truth of the incidents and go in a darker path.
Instead of just being grabbed or hit, I would be severely beaten and raped. Sometimes killed.
I'd try to scream, but nothing would come out.
My face was pushed into the dirt.
I couldn't breathe.
My teeth would fall out.
But then, the nightmares took another turn.
Horrible things would happen, but at the end, I would hurt the abuser worse.
Savage beating.
Horrible things.
You'd think that exacting revenge in my dream world would comfort me a bit, but it didn't.
It made me frightened at myself.
The thoughts have been slipping into my conscious as of late.
Occasionally my mind will drift to it and when I come back from it, I realize I've been holding my breath.
I'm not a violent person, but for whatever reason, the thoughts are there and they won't go away.

Jan 08 2014 10:02 AM

I just wanted to let you that you aren't alone with these thoughts/dreams. I've dreamed many times that I'm doing horrible, horrible things to my attacker. And, like you, it doesn't comfort me in the slightest. It scares the hell out of me. It makes me feel like I'm as bad as he is.


I hope you're doing ok - these kind of dreams are upsetting and stressful.

Jan 08 2014 10:47 AM



Sorry that you have these frightening and violent dreams. We are with you...

October 2014

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