Jump to content






Photo

Violent Fantasies (TW)

Posted by anelisa , in Sexual Assault, Anxiety 08 January 2014 · 160 views

It started out as nightmares.
I would relive past traumas.
Then it began to escalate.
The nightmares would veer from the truth of the incidents and go in a darker path.
Instead of just being grabbed or hit, I would be severely beaten and raped. Sometimes killed.
I'd try to scream, but nothing would come out.
My face was pushed into the dirt.
I couldn't breathe.
My teeth would fall out.
But then, the nightmares took another turn.
Horrible things would happen, but at the end, I would hurt the abuser worse.
Savage beating.
Stabbing.
Mutilation.
Horrible things.
You'd think that exacting revenge in my dream world would comfort me a bit, but it didn't.
It made me frightened at myself.
The thoughts have been slipping into my conscious as of late.
Occasionally my mind will drift to it and when I come back from it, I realize I've been holding my breath.
I'm not a violent person, but for whatever reason, the thoughts are there and they won't go away.



Photo
Freefalling
Jan 08 2014 10:02 AM

I just wanted to let you that you aren't alone with these thoughts/dreams. I've dreamed many times that I'm doing horrible, horrible things to my attacker. And, like you, it doesn't comfort me in the slightest. It scares the hell out of me. It makes me feel like I'm as bad as he is.

 

I hope you're doing ok - these kind of dreams are upsetting and stressful.

Photo
angelica1966
Jan 08 2014 10:47 AM

anelisa,

 

Sorry that you have these frightening and violent dreams. We are with you...

October 2014

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
1920212223 24 25
262728293031 

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Twitter

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.