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Anxious Annie



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Anxiety Attack 12/31/13

Posted by anelisa , in Anxiety 31 December 2013 · 160 views

I spent yesterday, the anniversary of the assault, with my friend, Taylor.
We didn't talk about it. We played board games. We laughed. Watched Doctor Who. Watched superhero movies.
It was great catching up. 
We don't see each other much because we're going to schools 3 hours apart.
To get home from her house, I had to drive through town.
Who happens...


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Darkest Secret

Posted by anelisa , in Sexual Assault 29 December 2013 · 278 views

A little over a year ago (before the incident that bothers me most), something happened with a guy I know.
We were at a party. He had been drinking, but he wasn’t drunk. I hadn’t been drinking. I was the one responsible for everyone’s keys.
It was about 4 am and I went to sleep on the couch.
Everyone was passed out drunk.
I woke up with...


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I Don't Remember

Posted by anelisa , 28 December 2013 · 208 views

Last night my boyfriend called me to tell me that he needed to come over and pick up his coat.
So I found it and set it out.
This morning, the coat wasn't where I left it, but my boyfriend didn't come over last night.
I texted my boyfriend to ask him if he just came and got it.
He told me that yes, he did come and get it, and then asked me if I remembered...


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Social Blunderfly

Posted by anelisa , 27 December 2013 · 159 views

            I’ve never been known to be socially literate or smooth. I tend to find myself in embarrassing situations often and have a knack for making it more awkward than need be.
 
            Taking a Spill
 
           L...


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Boring People

Posted by anelisa , 27 December 2013 · 161 views

           Not everyone is outgoing or loud. Not everyone oozes charm and charisma. I understand that not everyone is particularly ‘interesting’ in what they have to say or the lives they lead. But some people I come across are just plain boring. They have no opinions and no strong beliefs. How can a person not ha...


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'Ungrateful'

Posted by anelisa , in Family Issues 23 December 2013 · 153 views

There are a lot of people in my life that have done a lot for me. Often times I'm told that I'm not grateful.
And it's true. I'm not grateful.
Though I've had help, I wasn't set up to succeed. It wasn't all handed to me.
I motivated myself. I worked. I studied. I earned my grades. I stayed out of trouble. That was me . I did it. Me ....


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Triggered by a 'Compliment'

Posted by anelisa , in Anxiety 23 December 2013 · 151 views

My boyfriend lives in a fraternity house.
At first, I was very hesitant to go there to see him.
So many guys.
But as soon as I met them, I felt a lot better.
It's an agricultural fraternity.
All of the boys there introduce themselves with a handshake.
Hold doors open for me.
They don't curse in front of girls.
They address me as 'ma'am'.
Very polite boys....


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Please Don't

Posted by anelisa , in Family Issues 23 December 2013 · 143 views

I'm currently in a very happy relationship with a boy I met in high school.
We've been together almost 2 years now.
But before him, I was dating a guy that wasn't so great.
He was 3 years older than me.
He used to do drugs.
He drank a lot.
He cheated on me.
He hid it all from me.
I thought he was an angel.
The angel facade was destroyed when he started to...


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A Typical Day of 8th Grade Me

Posted by anelisa , in Family Issues 23 December 2013 · 131 views

I get up, even though it's 6 and I don't have to be to school til 8:30.
I dry my hair.
I put on makeup.
No breakfast.
I go to school. 
Nobody talks to me.
Nobody sits with me at lunch.
I could go days without being acknowledged.
I'm picked up by my step mom.
I go home.
I do chores.
Do dishes. 
Vacuum.
Clean counters.
Scrub the floor on my hands...


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Insurance

Posted by anelisa , in Anxiety 23 December 2013 · 147 views

Yesterday my mom mentioned my insurance.
She told me that I need to figure something out because my insurance ends in six months and then I'll have to pay out of pocket for my 'shit'.
My 'shit', as she puts it, is my T and my medication (antidepressants and anti-anxiety).
My insurance is through the state, because my mom is unemployed and in Nebraska you'...






December 2013

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.