The images from 2nd grade started playing again, and I couldn't stop wondering why the heck I felt SO strongly that someone had found out? I shouldn't have gone there by myself. I usually don't, I usually wait until I'm with T, but I just let myself slip into it. I wanted to figure out what had happened! I walked myself through it all, but when it came to the last part that I remember, I just couldn't. I was suddenly terrified, and I wanted to run, hide, find somewhere safe. I remember feeling pain everywhere, my whole body hurt, kind of tingled. I was clutching my stuffed dog so tightly if he had been a real dog he would have suffocated for sure! Or bitten my face off in terror. Anyway, I am just so revolted at myself I don't even want to go to bed again... What if I do it again? What if I let him back in?
I need my mommyyy...😭