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Nice calming appointment

Posted by SilverandBlue , 09 July 2014 · 120 views

I was worried about today, considering the cringingly honest email I sent, but it was a good appt. I was in a very jittery, childlike mood and ended up laying on the couch. T was in a very good mood, and so was I. I had my stuffed dog, and was manipulating the face into different shapes and giggling. T was on the couch with me today, and giggling right along with me. I wanted to just lay there forever. I told her this and she laughed, " if you stayed here you'd have to pay rent!" She asked me why I liked to curl up on the couch so much, why I shrink into the cushions. I think she wondered if I was afraid, but it's not that. If I was afraid, I would be tense. I hide when I am afraid that is true. But not of her. I am scared of myself, scared still to let her in and let her know. I think, subconsciously, I'm still testing her. Making sure it's okay to be my child self there. I still have weekly appointments. I try to go 2 weeks and completely fall apart! But I'm fine if I go every week. I get almost lazy and don't work. So how am I supposed to work around that?! Ugghhh...

July 2016

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