Being the amazing human being that she is, I got an appt for Friday.
And it was horrible. Not horrible as in unhelpful and bad, horrible as in I ended up curled in a ball on the floor with T next to me trying to get me to stop crying and shaking. I was so stressed and so tired that I couldn't hold it in anymore and just started bawling. I don't even know what it was about, I was just so tired, so overwhelmed and so sad I just fell apart. My appointment ended up going over by a half hour.
And then, the next day, I saw her at the grocery store by my house! I actually panicked and left right then. But I had to get my prescription from the pharmacy so I had to go back in. And walked right past her loading kids and groceries into her car on my way back out. I don't even know why I panicked so badly. I've seen her at the store before and didn't panic half as badly. But that was also at a store closer to her house, and she would have had to drive 20 minutes to get to the store I saw her at this time.
I know I have to bring this up now, and plan on doing so at my next appointment but I am terrified that she will either feel bad for freaking me out, or decide that since we live so close to each other that she can't are me anymore. And if that happens I don't know what I will do!
On the bright side, insurance now covers her! So I will save money!