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A scary realization

Posted by SilverandBlue , 21 April 2014 · 86 views

Ever since T asked if maybe there was someone else involved, I haven't been able to get unstuck from it. It swirls around my mind and bugs and bugs me like a mosquito.
I was talking to my mom, and she asked if I thought my teacher had been involved. I said there is no way. I liked this teacher, I felt safe with her. She was NOT involved. However, when she asked if there was anyone else that I felt shadowy or fuzzy about, I realized there is. An older boy that used to play with me at recess. I remember him being so nice at first, then really mean. I don't know what happened, but this boy rode my bus, and is still my neighbor. He is a class 1 creep. He used to blow up our mailbox with firecrackers.
I know I spent quite a lot of time with him, mostly at recess.
I have one fairly distinct memory of him teaching me to play tetherball on the blacktop at recess. And another of him and I in a corner of the undercover play area, though I'm not entirely sure what we're doing.
AHHH! This guy still lives a few houses down! I know he will not hurt me, but that is just plain creepy. I hope I am jumping to conclusions.
I hate this. I really, really hate all this

It's scary not knowing and being unsure of your memories.  When you're ready to remember, your mind will help you recall your memories if they're there.  Please take the time to allow your mind to bring forwards any memories that you may have.  I hope that guy isn't part of any unhappy childhood memories too. 

I know how scary it is to not remember. I am still in that phase.  It's okay to not know yet.  You don't have to pick at this alone until you figure it out.  Let your T continue to guide you slowly.  

October 2014

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