Jump to content


Lots and lots of analysis

Posted by SilverandBlue , 31 March 2014 · 48 views

I analyze everything I do. I can't help it, it's just like my brain does it of it's own accord. So I've been doing a lot of that lately and have discovered a few things:
1. I am DESPERATELY seeking comfort and attention. I need to be held, cuddled and comforted like a child because I wasn't as a child. I wasn't comforted after I was hurt, there was nobody there to help. Nobody to hold me while I cried and to tell me it was okay. So now I get this in part from my therapist, but am a bit wary of it. I also have "warm and fuzzy" friends that always hug me and I feel comfortable enough to cry and get upset around.
2. I have always acted childish. I throw fits, I pout, I even eat childishly, only for taste. I try not to, but it's hard not to! I believe this comes from a young part of myself that never was allowed to throw fits like a child. I was always reprimanded very sharply and shamed when I acted out at all. Not so much by my parents as by my older siblings actually.
3. I also have a very grown up and mature part of me that is sometimes able to gain control and react properly to things. This part of me enables me to live very normally on the outside. I can hold a job, go to school etc with this part of my brain functioning. The problem is, I haven't yet figured out how to switch this part on by myself....
There is a whole lot more going through this head,but I wanted to at least get these out!

September 2014

21 222324252627

Recent Entries

Recent Comments


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.