Connecting emotion, thought and dreams
I had a very irritating dream maybe 4 nights ago. I was in T's office, it was mostly all the same. I was on the end of the couch, looking at the place I usually sit, on the other end of the couch. There was a little girl on the floor where my feet normally would be, facing away from me. She was just sobbing. Shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. T was in her chair on the other side of the table and just sitting, watching and taking notes. I was PISSED. She wasn't doing anything to help the little girl! So I went over and pulled her onto my lap, held her and cuddled her and stopped her crying. And that was all. I woke up pissed at T, until I realized it was just a dream.
Then, I went to T yesterday, and when I came back fully on the floor, I was in the EXACT SAME SPOT AND POSITION. Same as my dream. It was so freaky. I didn't connect the dots till a few hours later, but yes. I was in th exact same spot! And iwas curled up as though I had been holding someone too. It was just the freakiest thing.
I'm not sure if my subconcious was acting out my dream, or what.
Also, she made a very helpful statement. "You can leave all of this here. When you walk out my door, go up the steps to the front door and leave, you can leave it all here. I will put it up on a shelf and take it down when you come back next week." Basically so I can go about my daily life safely. Sometimes, I seriously love her. I was all crying and hiding. And turned away from her and she still didn't leave and go back to her chair. Just sat behind me ( she couldn't sit anywhere else, really. I was between the table and couch) and had her arms around me that way.
So needless to say, I've been analyzing everything lately. The timing of music, the sounds of appliances at home, people's words and actions. My own thoughts and actions. My brain just isn't giving me a break. I have been spending long periods of time in a "zone" just sitting staring off into space. Sitting in bed cuddling a stuffed animal. I wish I could bring one to T next week. That would be so comfy!