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The pain

Posted by SilverandBlue , 21 March 2014 · 131 views

It seems whenever I lose myself in memories, bad memories, I hurt. My stomach hurts, like I've been punched. My head hurts (too much mental exertion?) But what worries me is the stomach pain. It's not the pain you get when you are worried, that clenching of muscles. Well, maybe a bit, but it's lower down, not so much my stomach as further down. I don't even know why it bothers me. T always tells me to relax, that my muscles are just too tense, and tried to get me to relax, which only partially worked. But I get to the point in memory just before threre is nothing but black, and then my stomach just HURTS. Sometimes it spreads to my back, but it is not fun and I just wrap my arms around myself because it hurts.
All I can ever think is: It hurts, it hurts, why does it hurt? and I sometimes end up saying it out loud.
-sigh- yet another thing to try and figure out



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