T tomorrow, after the fatal letter...
I had a nice break while out of state, I hardly thought about him at all, my mind was delightfully clear and focused on other things. That as nice while it lasted, but now it's back, and back with a vengeance. People are LOOKING at me. Guys are looking at me and it makes me run and hide. People looking at me is never good. Especially guys. It means they want something from me. (Oh. My. Gosh. That just came out of my fingertips. it just entered my thoughts and now I realize, it really is the reason I get so scared from just looking. Will have to save that thought for T tomorrow!)
I am so terrified that I will go completely bonkers tomorrow in session. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. If I will cry, shut down, or be agitated the whole time. Hopefully none of the above, but my pulse is going up as I think about it. Ughhh...things are SUCH a mess.
I'm going to listen to some relaxing music and try to sleep now