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T tomorrow, after the fatal letter...

Posted by SilverandBlue , 18 March 2014 · 68 views

I genuinely am getting anxious for my appt tomorrow morning. I usually don't, but now she's read my letter, and while she sounded okay with it, even glad that I sent it, I can't stop shaking and circling in on myself, endlessly worrying if tomorrow, she will be different.
I had a nice break while out of state, I hardly thought about him at all, my mind was delightfully clear and focused on other things. That as nice while it lasted, but now it's back, and back with a vengeance. People are LOOKING at me. Guys are looking at me and it makes me run and hide. People looking at me is never good. Especially guys. It means they want something from me. (Oh. My. Gosh. That just came out of my fingertips. it just entered my thoughts and now I realize, it really is the reason I get so scared from just looking. Will have to save that thought for T tomorrow!)
 
I am so terrified that I will go completely bonkers tomorrow in session. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. If I will cry, shut down, or be agitated the whole time. Hopefully none of the above, but my pulse is going up as I think about it. Ughhh...things are SUCH a mess.
 
I'm going to listen to some relaxing music and try to sleep now



:metoyou:

I hear you. I hope you got some sleep and T goes ok.
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SilverandBlue
Mar 19 2014 02:36 PM

Thank you, it went ok, T was so very kind and supportive today, so I didn't freak out hardly at all. :D

sending hugs if you'd like them.  wishing you good healing. 

July 2014

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