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Ughh... I needed an extra session after all.

Posted by SilverandBlue , 17 February 2014 · 97 views

So I went in today. I had such a tough time dealing with Cass, it triggered me and I sobbed the whole way home and all day yesterday. I called T and she offered to let me come in today. I felt kind of bad, but seriously could not stop alternating between crying and  breaking things. (ok, not non-stop. once I got ahold of her I felt much better and stopped crying)
Anyway, I went in today, and as soon as she asked me how I was doing, I completely lost it again. I cried about how I felt like my mom didn't care about my pain because she never asks, and how I was hurting so badly for Cassie and remembering the little girl on the bathroom floor. T almost started crying herself, and just got up and sat next to me and put her arm around me. Just sat and held me until I stopped crying. I really appreciated it, I like being held  while crying, and always cry for my mom, and wish she would hug me but she doesn't unless she finds out I am crying. Which I never let her do because I don't want her to worry about me.
T told me "I can't just sit and watch you crying, hurting so badly. It hurts to do nothing". I am truly grateful that she cares, and it was nice to be comforted :)
It's what I wish my mom would do. It felt so nice and caring and the little one in me loved being hugged so much.
I just hope it doesn't make things weird...

November 2015

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